Accusations Hurt
by DazzleMe1901
Summary: Crappy coincedences cause Rose and Christian to leave and try to start over. Can Rose keep her promise? Will they ever be forgiven. There's mentions of Andre/Rose but it is Dimitri/Rose,Chris/Lis with a slight touch of C/R but more sibling wise. Occ,Ah,Oc
1. Wedding Rings and Getting us Killed

_**Hi there! This is my tenth fanfic and I hope I can make more! Um… this is a Rose/Dimitri and Lissa/Christian story, there with be Rose/Christian but a brother/sister relationship. **_

_**Summary:**_

_**Everyone graduated from Saint Vlad's and now everyone lives at the Court. Rose and Dimitri are happy and in love the same with Lissa and Christian. When Christian decides he wants to learn how to fight, Rose accepts him as a "student" when they find out that they have more in common than they'd like to share, they keep it secret. When a misunderstanding happens and the gangs splits up, after two years what happens when they're reunited?**_

How is it that on my one day off I still end up working? Yes I, Rose Hathaway, am an official guardian, and not just anyone's guardian, Lissa's guardian.

Dimitri and I were together and he was a guard at Court and we lived together, so we could see each other often. We were still deeply in love and every time he was around me I still got butterflies.

"Rose? Snap out of it, I don't have all day!" Christian snapped, grabbing my wrist and dragging me into the store. I sighed tiredly and followed silently.

Now let me explain Christian and my relationship before you blow a gasket. Christian and I are strictly just friends! When we moved to the Royal Court Christian asked me to train him so he could defend himself physical against anybody.

I agreed so we meet regularly and we started talking and he turned into the brother I never had. He knew everything about me and vice versa, so when he confided in me that he wanted to propose to Lissa I was beyond ecstatic.

Now our relationship was filled with teasing and bickering but behind closed doors we actually got along, so nobody really understood the dept of our relationship besides Adrian, who was still bugging the hell out of me.

So that's pretty much how I ended up here, looking for engagement rings/ guarding Christian on my day off and while I should be asleep.

"What about this one?" Christian asked. I leaned over his shoulder to look and shook my head.

"No, Lissa likes more simple things," I said, then went back to looking. I was so into my search I didn't realize Christian was on the other side of the store when I squealed.

People looked up wide eyed as I practically glowed as I bounced in my spot.

"Chris! I found it!" I squealed, Christian hurried over and looked over my shoulder and smiled.

"Perfect," He murmured. He gestured over a worker and pointed to the ring (pic on profile) before saying, "This one, I would like to purchase this ring right here," He said.

The lady smiled and took out the ring to let us look at it some more.

"Would you like to try it on?" She asked me softly, I looked up from the ring in bewilderment.

"Why would I?" I asked. She tilted her head to the side as confusion hazed her features.

"The ring is for you, no?" She asked innocently. I looked at Christian with wide eyes before we busted out laughing.

"Me and him," I chuckled. "No, this is for my best friend and his soon to be fiancée," I explained. She nodded before taking the ring and putting it in a pretty burgundy box and Christian paid.

We walked out of the mall and I groaned quietly as I stretched, my shirt lifting up slightly. I got into the driver's seat of his Mustang, he got in and I pulled out of the parking lot and started driving.

My stomach grumbled and I quickly pulled into the first restaurant I saw.

"What are you doing?" He asked, as I got out.

"I just spent my day off with you looking for engagement rings when I could have been with Dimitri, the least you could do is get me something to eat," I stated as if it were obvious. He just rolled his eyes and closed the door.

We went inside and were quickly seated and we ordered.

"Olive Garden, out of all the places we could have gone to you pick Olive Garden," Christian laughed. I smiled, chuckled and stuck my tongue out at him.

We talked and laughed until lunch (human lunch) was brought out; we ate in silence and finished quickly. Christian shook his head and paid and we left.

The radio was the only thing heard until I realized that I needed to change clothes.

"Shit," I muttered, Christian looked at me and raised his eye brows in a silent questioned. "I need to change," I groaned.

"Then pull over," He suggested.

"Do you see a place to pull over Christian? Look just take hold of the wheel and make sure we don't crash." I said, pushing the seat back as far as I could and took hold of my bag that had everything in it.

I unbuttoned my jeans and silently slid them off, careful to keep one foot on the gas pedal at all times, Christian was trying to focus on the road until he say me do that.

"What the hell are you doing!" He hissed.

"Changing, what does it look like?" I hissed back. I pulled on my guardian slacks and took of my shirt, leaving me in my bra. He flushed and turned to look out the windshield.

I slipped my shirt on and tied my hair in a messy high pony tail. I put the other clothes back in the bag before pulling the seat up and moved his hands from the wheel.

"There we go," I said, shrugging.

He actually laughed.

"You really are crazy," he said, looking at me.

"Just a bit," I joked.

"Just a lot," He teased. I made a sharp left turn towards Court and went through a maze of trees that humans would get lost in. I saw the Main Gates and I sighed quietly. I searched the bond and saw that Lissa was looking for me and Christian and she was heading in the direction we were in.

"Hide the ring," I said. He looked confused.

"Why?" He asked.

"Just hide the fucking ring!" I yelled as I pulled up to the Guardian, I showed him my tattoos and my I.D. he waved us through and Christian frantically looked for a hiding spot. "Why is she up so early?" I growled quietly.

"Lissa?" he asked, I nodded and he gulped. I quickly parked and got out the car just in time to see Lissa look out and spot us.

"Rose!" She yelled, I turned to face her and smiled.

"What are you doing up so early!?!" I called back.

"I could ask you the same question," She said, shading her eyes with her hand.

"True," I laughed.

"Christian, what are you doing here?" She asked, looking over my shoulder. Christian smiled lazily and walked up to her and kissed her head softly.

"Nothing," He stated. Her eyes narrowed as suspicion and worry streamed in through the bond.

"Lissa, go get some sleep, you're obviously tired," I murmured in her ear. She nodded and headed back up to her apartment that the Queen made sure was just for here and not Christian, even though he stayed there almost every night over there.

I walked him up to his room before yawning widely and stretching. He opened the door and gestured me in side. I walked inside, took out a blanket and a pillow, stole one of his huge shirts and plopped down on the couch.

"I'm crashing here, I don't want to wake up Dimitri," I yawned. Christian nodded tiredly and mumbled out a 'night' and went to his room. I took off my pants, leaving me in some black leggings, folded them and took of my shirt and replaced it with Christian's, I curled up and let myself fall asleep.

I woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs, I moaned happily and forced myself up, tightening the blanket around me I trudged to the kitchen and saw Christian cooking breakfast.

"Smells good fire boy, what's the occasion," I mumbled resting my chin lazily on his shoulder. He chuckled.

"No reason, you were asleep so I was going to cook something and leave but since you're awake….," Suddenly the door slammed opened and we both turned around, shocked.

Hurt, betrayal, anger, and pain suddenly overwhelmed me as I grew confused.

Dimitri was standing in the door frame with Lissa standing just slightly in front of him. I was wide awake now, this would most definitely not end well.

"What the hell is going on here?" Dimitri asked, his guardian mask in place, but I could still the hurt in his eyes.

"This is not what it looks like!" Christian and I said at the same time. We looked at each other, and then looked back to the two people at the door. That probably wasn't the best thing to say because Lissa flushed with anger and marched up to me.

Her hand came in contact with my cheek, it didn't affect me but it sure as hell shocked me.

"How could you?! I thought you were my best friend and you were sneaking behind my back with my boyfriend!" She yelled, tears welling in her eyes.

"Liss, it's not like that," Christian defended. While Christian talked to Lissa I meet Dimitri's eye.

"Dimitri, you know I would never…," I started, but he cut me off.

"You really live up to your reputation don't you; I could have excepted this with Ivashkov but with Ozera? I never thought you'd sink that low," He sneered. My heart stopped and broke into a million pieces. He turned on his heel and left, Lissa turned to follow him but stopped at the door.

"Rose, I no longer want you as my guardian, go and guard _him_ I want you and you're _lover_ gone by dawn," She spat and just like that the only two reasons for me to exist just walked out the door.

Suddenly I felt nothing, I felt absolutely numb. Christian looked pissed and shocked at the same time. We stared at each other and I just silently went and put on my pants and swapped shirts and left the room I walked to me and Dimitri's apartment, took out a duffel and packed my stuff, taking everything that I would need, my purse, wallet, clothes, my laptop, toiletries, and my cell phone.

I walked slowly to the gate only to see Christian waiting in his car; he saw me and started the car, giving me a silent invitation.

Warily I walked to the car, put my stuff in the back seat and sat next to Christian.

"I figured since we both had to leave, we might as well leave together, start over some where," He murmured, I nodded.

"Might as well," I said.

I surprised myself that day, I didn't break down, but there was a hole where my heart should be, a hole that I knew would never be filled.

When we pulled up to the gate Eddie was there, and when he saw me sympathy and curiosity glistened behind his guardian mask. We pulled up and he leaned into my side looking me in the eye.

"Guardian Hathaway," he nodded.

"Guardian Castile, Eddie, it isn't what they think…," I started, only to be stopped by his hand.

"I know, I heard you two talking about going to the mall so Christian could get an engagement ring for Lissa," he said. I smiled sadly.

"I'm not going to ask you to talk to them, but Eddie take care of them and tell Dimitri that I wish he could understand what really happened." I said softly, the hurt obvious in my tone.

"I will, be safe, both of you," He said, as he hugged me.

"We will," I murmured. The gates opened and the car shot forward. I paid no attention as I pulled into myself, time meant nothing to me at the moment and I closed my eyes.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know it's light out and Christian is still driving and nodding off.

To say Christian was speeding was an understatement; my nails were digging into the seats. My emotions were an absolute mess right now but from the look on Christian's face I could tell he either want to break down or drive us into a tree.

"Chris, pull over," I said softly, looking horrified out the window, memories of the accident playing over and over. He didn't answer me. "Christian pull over," I said a little louder as we pulled onto the dark road.

"Why should I?" he asked, his voice dead.

"Because if you keep driving the way you're driving you're going to kill us both!" I stated.

"So, what's the point of living if there is nothing to live for," He said in the same dead voice.

"Just pull the fucking car over!" I yelled. He looked over at me and grumbled before pulling over. I got out the car and stomped over to the drivers' side and threw the door open, taking Christian by the collar of his shirt and pulling him out the car.

I somehow closed the door and slammed him into the side of the car.

"Look, stop acting like you're the only one who was hurt here! Lissa was my best friend and I love Dimitri with all my heart! So don't come over here and try to get us killed because you think you're all alone, I'm right here and I'm feeling the same thing! And don't try and turn me away because as of now you're my charge and I have to deal with you until I die so get in the fucking car!" I yelled, repeatedly slamming him into the car.

No emotion showed on his face as he walked to the passenger side of the car and sat down. Sighing, I slid into the car and started back on the road. Who knows what next cause I sure as hell don't know.


	2. You'll Think of Me and She's No You

_**Okay! I own nothing! The song You'll think of me by Keith Urban, I twisted the lyrics around a bit so don't go catching a fit if the lyrics aren't right. There are pictures of the house, rooms, etc. Besides that all the songs do not belong to me, I own nothing and hope you enjoy.**_

"Take a breath, take it deep  
Calm yourself, he says to me  
If you play, you play for keeps  
Take a gun, and count to three  
I'm sweating now, moving slow  
No time to think, my turn to go

And you can see my heart beating  
You can see it through my chest  
That I'm terrified but I'm not leaving  
Know that I must pass this test  
So just pull the trigger

Say a prayer to yourself  
He says close your eyes  
Sometimes it helps  
And then I get a scary thought  
That he's here means he's never lost

And you can see my heart beating  
You can see it through my chest  
That I'm terrified but I'm not leaving  
Know that I must pass this test  
So just pull the trigger

As my life flashes before my eyes  
I'm wondering will I ever see another sunrise?  
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye  
But it's too late too pick up the value of my life 

And you can see my heart beating  
You can see it through my chest  
That I'm terrified but I'm not leaving  
Know that I must pass this test  
So just pull the trigger"

"Russian Roulette, by Rihanna"

I sang out, my voice ringing out over the crowd, I had written that song after Christian and I (along with a few others) had played Russian Roulette not even a year before. 

It's been two years since that faithful day and everyday I think about it, but Christian and I have picked up the pieces and tried to move on. I still loved Dimitri with all my heart but I was soo angry at him for not even letting me explain what had been going on.

Lissa still thinks about Christian when ever I check on her to take her darkness. I've managed to build a wall between the two of us so I wasn't constantly being pulled into her head.

I was brought out of my thought from the audience going wild. Did I mention Christian and I were famous in both the human world and the Moroi World? Well we are.

"Thank you everybody! You guys were great, but we have to go!" I said into the microphone.

"Encore! Encore! Encore! Encore!" They shouted for the fourth. I smiled and turned to look at Christian who was holding his guitar and smiling, he shrugged then winked. He walked over to me and whispered into my ear.

"SEX," he murmured. I nodded.

"Alright guys! Since it seems like Christian over here is a little bit worked up over here we have a personal song to go out to all of you that are just as worked up!" I called. Christian handed me the guitar and I quickly moved back some.

Mike and I started on the guitar.

"Known as a dirty word  
Never gonna say it first  
No, it's just a thought  
That never crosses my mind

Maybe in the parking lot  
Better bring your friend along  
Better rock together  
Than just one at a time

S is for the simple need  
E is for the ecstasy  
X is just to mark the spot  
'Cause that's the one you really want

Yes, sex is always the answer, it's never a question  
'Cause the answer's yes, oh the answer's yes  
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question  
Then it's always yes, yeah

I'm loving what you wanna wear  
I wonder what's up under there  
Wonder if I'll ever have it  
Under my tongue

I'll love to try to set you free  
I love you all over me  
Love to hear the sound you make  
The second you're done

S is for the simple need  
E is for the ecstasy  
X is just to mark the spot  
'Cause that's the one you really want

Yes, sex is always the answer, it's never a question  
'Cause the answer's yes, oh the answer's yes  
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question  
Then it's always yes

Yeah, yeah, yeah  
(Yes)  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
Yeah, yeah

S is for the simple need  
E is for the ecstasy  
X is just to mark the spot  
'Cause that's the one you really want

Yes, sex is always the answer, it's never a question  
'Cause the answer's yes, oh, the answer's yes  
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question  
Then it's always yes, yeah

Yes, sex is always the answer, it's never a question  
'Cause the answer's yes, oh, the answer's yes  
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question  
Then it's always yes

Yeah, yeah, yeah  
(Yes)  
Yeah, yeah, yea

Yeah, yeah, yeah  
(Yes)  
Yeah, yeah  
Yeah, yeah, yeah  
(Yes)  
Yeah, yeah"

"SEX, by Nickleback"

He sang, I played the guitar with practiced ease. I smiled at Lindsey behind the drums and smiled, she laughed. Mike and her shared a brief look before winking at each other.

The crowed went wild when Christian threw his hat out into the audience. I swung the guitar onto my back and walked forward next to Christian who took my hand. Mike walked up to my other side while Lindsey walked to Christian other side; we all took hands and bowed before walking off the stage.

We started laughing as we hit backstage, Mike clapped Christian on the back while Lindsey and I hugged. Suddenly cameras went of and we all turned and posed.

"Rose! Christian! Can we ask you a question?!" Asked a blonde reporter with far too much make up on and so much perfume on that I got an instant headache.

"Sure why not," Christian replied and suddenly everyone turned to us.

"Well, we've all been wondering, what's she scope between you two, are you together or not?" She asked, we all turned and looked at each other then suddenly started laughing.

"Sorry, but no we're not together," I clarified.

"Not even close," Christian agreed.

"Hell will freeze over first!" Mike and Lindsey said at the same time while he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. They asked us a few more question until security came and took them away.

"Who's ready to sign some autographs and see some crazy fans!" Lindsey said with false enthusiasm.

"We are!" We chorused together with the same "enthusiasm". I loved this, but I wish I didn't have to deal with all the fans.

After signing an endless amount of autographs and taking god knows how many pictures we were finally in the limo.

"I can't wait to go home," I mumbled sleepily, leaning my head on Lindsey's shoulder.

"Neither can I," Muttered Lindsey. We chuckled.

The car ride was short and finally were home (Pic on Profile), the house was huge, but it held a homey touch to it. The inside held a touch of all of us; it held a dark elegance to it, while it also held an older modern feel as well.

I walked inside and straight to my room, I changed clothes and crashed into my bed.

The next morning I woke up to the Sun shining in my face, I sighed quietly and rubbed my face.

Yes, Christian and I ended up switching our sleeping schedule, it was hard at first considering he couldn't go out into the Sun much but after a few months he grew a tolerance for the Sun.

He feed regularly from packets of blood from the hospital, which again took some getting used to.

I forced myself out of my comfortable bed and stretched. I walked into my bathroom and washed my face, brushed my teeth and took a quick shower before getting out.

Putting on some form fitting sweats and a slightly loose T-shirt, tied my hair into a high ponytail then hiked my leg up and tied on a stake holder onto my calf, before sliding the stake in it after making sure it was securely strapped in I opened my door and was immediately assaulted by the smell of breakfast being cooked.

"Christian!" I called.

"Yea," He called back. I ran down stairs and into the kitchen, he was wearing track pants and a no sleeved shirt. I looked to see him stirring some eggs.

"Why are you cooking?" I asked wearily. He opened his mouth to answer but I cut him off. "We were supposed to be training today; I don't need you frying my face off if we end up getting into another fight!" I continued my voice serious.

"Three reasons," He said, flipping some bacon. "One: your ass was dead asleep, I know 'cause I tried waking you up, two: It's already 1 in the afternoon three: we have company," His voice filled with venom when he said the second one. I stiffened as I saw his eyes drift over my shoulder.

I turned slowly and my heart stopped and dropped into my stomach. There sat Dimitri, Vasilissa, Eddie and Adrian, my fist clenched and my guardian mask slammed into place.

"Guardian Castile," I said nodding my head, Eddie responded knowing glistening in his eyes. "Princess Vasilissa and Lord Ivashkov," I said nodding to them as well, bowing at my waist. "Guardian Belikov," I said my voice emotionless.

"Guardian Hathaway," they said in unison. I think now would be a good time to tell you why Christian and I are famous in the Moroi world. We're famous for our many Strigoi kills and our hunting ability.

We started that almost immediately after leaving Court, killing any Strigoi that crossed our path. Now we were famous and my neck was covered in tiny tattoos. Even Christian had a few Monjila marks of his own.

We trained daily on our technique and worked on our codes and me helping him with his defense even though he's getting pretty good.

"Can you go get Lindsey and Mike?" Christian asked, causing me to nod slightly. I turned and jogged back up the stairs; I went to Lindsey room door and just walked in.

Everything stopped when I looked up and saw them in the middle of doing the deed.

"Holy shit!" I screamed. Suddenly Mike looked up and froze; Lindsey looked up and saw me before she started screaming. I started screaming as well and I walked back out the door and closed it. I was officially scarred for life.

Somehow I managed to stumble back down the stairs, my face flushed.

"What happened?" Christian asked, I didn't answer, I couldn't. He put his hands on my shoulders and shook me. "Huh?" He prompted. I shook my head and shrugged his hands off.

I went to the fridge and took out some OJ and started drinking desperately trying to get the image out of my head. I heard their foot steps upstairs and I put the now empty cup down.

Lindsey came down the stairs, her brown hair in a messed up in a sex hair bun and her clothes looking as if she just threw them on which she probably did.

We looked up at each other, flushed then looked away. Everyone was looking at us weirdly as Mike came down stairs in pajama bottoms and a muscle shirt, his naturally messy hair even messier. He walked right up to Lin and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, I fake gagged at them causing Lin to flush and Mike to grin.

"What's for breakfast?" He asked a very confused Christian. "I'm starved," he said hungrily patting his stomach.

"I'm not surprised," I muttered.

"What was that?" Adrian asked, causing Lin and Mike to turn and face them.

"Who are you?" Mike asked rudely.

"Adrian," he said, standing up a holding his hand out. "And you are?" He asked. Mike raised a eyebrow at me and I shrugged and went back to picking at my breakfast.

"Mike, and this is my girlfriend, Lindsey," he introduced. Adrian smiled and introduced the rest of the group.

After that everyone ate in silence.

"Where's Alberta?" I asked suddenly causing everyone to look at me.

"She and Guar… Stan are driving around," Eddie said, catching himself before saying Guardian. I nodded and listened as I heard a car pulling up. Groaning quietly and nudged Christian across the counter and jerking my head to the door. He nodded mutely and stood straight.

"Feel free to look around, take with Lindsey and Mike if you have any questions and they'll show you to your rooms," I said straightening my posture.

"And where will you and Christian be?" Lissa asked forcefully. I narrowed my eyes and met her eye defiantly. I opened my mouth to make a snappy retort when Christian put his hand on my fist and shook his head mutely; I let out a huff of air and nodded.

"Well, princess," I said, my voice cool and collected. "We will be in the front yard if you need anything," I said, false respect in my voice. Mike and Lindsey didn't even bother to ask they just simply gestured everyone out the door. Christian headed out and towards the front door with me just a few feet behind him.

We waited outside silently, me behind Christian, my guardian mask in place and my right hand clutching my left forearm.

A sleek black SUV pulled up and Alberta and Stan stepped out of the truck.

"Christian," Stan said before turning to me and a sarcastic smile on his lips. "Guardian Hathaway," He said.

"Guardian Alto, Guardian Petrov," Christian and I said in perfect sync. Alberta smiled and held a hand out for me to shake. I stepped forward and shook each of their hands firmly.

"So to what do we owe this visit?" Christian asked.

"Princess Dragomir and Lord Ivashkov have been placed on a Strigoi hit list and are being hunted down, it is the Queen's order that they stay with the two of you due to your ability to protect them." Alberta said. My jaw dropped.

"Wait a minute, why can't they stay at the Court?! They'll be safer there, there are more guardians and there are wards!" I protested loudly.

"We don't question the Queen's orders and those are orders," Stan said. We groaned.

"Okay, great just fucking great!" I swore. "So let me guess you guys are staying as well?" I asked, they nodded, looking rather amused. "So are you guys going to sleep in the same room or would you rather sleeping in separate rooms?" I asked, and just like that the amusement vanished.

"What are you talking about Hathaway?" Stan spat.

"Oh come on! It wasn't obvious but we figured out you two were together," Christian laughed at their shocked expressions.

"So is that a yes?" I asked rhetorically. We led them inside and I heard there low intake of breath. We showed them around and introduced them to Mike and Lindsey who had just finished showing everyone else around.

After agreeing to practice in 10 minutes Chris and I finished showing them around and showed them their rooms which were on the farthest side of the house with Lissa, Adrian, Dimitri and Eddie.

"I finished that song I was writing," I said once we were up in the practice room.

"Care to share?" Christian asked. I smiled and nodded, going over to our song book on the table in the middle of the room. I showed it to him and he finished reading once Mike and Lin walked into the room. They also read the song and smiled before nodding and picking up their instruments, each reading the notes carefully.

After a short time we got the majority of it down. We started over again and this time I sang, letting all my emotions into it as I let the memories of me and Dimitri play over and over inside my head.

"I woke up early this morning around 4am  
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate  
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep  
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake  
Ever since you thought I found myself in someone else's arms  
I've been tryin' my best to get along  
But that's OK  
There's nothing left to say, but

I've been tryin' my best to get along

But that's OK

There's nothing left to say, but

I'll take my records, but not my freedom

I'll take my memories because still I need 'em

I'll take my space and all my reasons

But you will think of me

I'll take my bag and leave your sweater

'Cause we have nothing left to weather

In fact you'll feel a whole lot better

And you'll think of me, but you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head

I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left

I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this

And all the baggage that seems to still exist

It seems the only blessing I have left to my name

Is not knowing what we could have been

What we should have been

So

I'll my records, but not my freedom

I'll take my memories because I still need'em

I'll take my space and all my reasons

But You'll think of me

And I'll take my bag and leave your sweater

'Cause we have nothing left to weather

In fact you'll feel a whole lot better

But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind

Try not to worry, even if I'm not fine

I'm gonna be alright

While you're sleeping with your pride

Wishing I could hold you tight

Yet I'll never be over you

But I'll go on with my life

So I'll take my records, but not my freedom

I'll take my memories because I still need'em

And I'll take my bag and leave your sweater

'Cause we have nothing left to weather

In fact you'll feel a whole lot better

But trust me, I'll think of you

So I'll take my records, but not my freedom

I'll take my memories because I still need'em

I'll take my space and all my reasons

But I'll think of you

And take my bag and leave your sweater

'Cause we got nothing left to weather

In fact you'll feel a whole lot better

But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me

Oh someday baby, someday"

"You'll think of me, by Keith Urban (twisted sum lyrics)"

I sang, all the pain and sadness was there, I felt like I was being watched and looked up to see Dimitri and Lissa standing there. Acting as if I hadn't seen them I looked to Christian and he nodded and we switched instruments, I placed the guitar back in its place and walked over to the piano signaling them to change instruments. Lin got the Violin and Mike picked up the guitar and we started the song.

"They got a lotta girls  
Who know they got it going on  
But nothing's ever a comparison to you  
Now can't you see that your the only one I really want  
And everything I need  
Is everything you do?

Any girl walk by, don't matter  
'Cause your looking so much better  
Don't ever need to get  
Caught up in jealousy  
She could be a super-model  
Every magazine... the cover  
She'll never, ever mean a thing to me...

She's no you... oh, no  
You give me more than I could ever want  
She's no you... oh, no  
I'm satisfied with the one I've got  
'cause your all the girl  
That I've ever dreamed  
She's only a picture on a magazine  
She's no you... she's no you

They got a lot of girls  
Who dance in all the videos  
But I prefer the way you do,  
The way you move  
You're more than beautiful  
And I just wanna let you know  
That all I ever need  
Is what I've got with you

Any girl walk by, don't matter  
Every time your looking better  
I think your perfect  
There ain't nothing I would change  
She could be a super-model  
Every magazine... the cover  
She'll never, ever take my heart away 

She's no you... oh, no  
You give me more than I could ever want  
She's no you... oh, no  
I'm satisfied with the one I've got  
'cause your all the girl  
That I've ever dreamed  
She's only a picture on a magazine  
She's no you... she's no you

No one's ever gonna get to me  
Oh, the way you do  
Now baby can't you see  
That you're the one... the only one  
Who's ever made me feel this way?

Nothings ever coming even close  
No one's ever been comparable to you

I don't want nothing I don't got  
I don't need nothing but you  
I can't get more than you give me  
Don't stop anything you do.  
Your all that... all that, and then some  
You know what... just what I need  
And no girl, no place and no where  
Could mean a thing to me.

She's no you... oh, no  
You give me more than I could ever want  
She's no you... oh, no  
I'm satisfied with the one I've got  
'cause your all the girl  
That I've ever dreamed  
She's only a picture on a magazine  
She's no you... she's no you"

"She's no you, by Jesse McCartney"

Christian's eyes were unfocused as if he were going down memory lane; I stood up from my position behind the piano and walked up to his side.

"Never knew you thought of me that way," I joked quietly knowing what part in that song I played.

He just shook his head and walked toward the outside balcony.

"That was great you two," I said, looking towards and saw that they were gone.

"You sounded great!" Lindsey praised, I smiled.

"Thank-" I was cut off before I could finish.

"Since when could you sing?" Asked a voice that used to be shy and innocent but now it was slightly harder and less innocent.

"I've always been able to sing, I just chose to never tell you," I retorted.

"Great! Another secret unraveled how many more are there Rose?!" She yelled.

"Mike, Lin, I suggest you go downstairs," I said, my voice hard and forced. They scurried away as I turned to face my ex-best friend and the love of my life.

"That was the only secret I ever kept from you Vasilissa," I sneered.

"Oh, so you screwing around with my boyfriend wasn't a secret?" She yelled her voice close to hysteria.

"We weren't screwing around, we never did, never have," I said, my voice calm but held a hint of anger. I looked to the side and out the window only to see the Sun already going down, where did the day go?

"So, us barging in on you two in his kitchen wasn't you cheating?" Dimitri's voice said incredulously.

"We are, were, only friends, that's all we'll ever be, he's like my brother, not a bed buddy, not a lover not anything but a friend!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Here we go with the lies again!" Lissa said, throwing her hands up into the air.

"You know what; it's about time you knew!" I yelled loudly.

"No! Rose! Don't!" Christian finally made his appearance.

"Don't what, tell us what?" Lissa asked, anger still there.

"That…" Suddenly a horrible sense of nausea hit me, I doubled over my hands clutching my stomach from the pain. "Son of a bitch!" I screamed through gritted teeth.

"Are you serious?" Asked Christian from behind me, panic, worry and pain in his voice as he rest a hand on my back.

"DO I LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING!" I yelled, trying to find out how many Strigoi there was and how close they are.

"What's going on?" and just like that Lissa sounded vulnerable and like a princess again. I managed to stand straight and closed my eyes.

"There's at least ten and they're coming from the west," I said, opening my eyes and running out the balcony, Christian on my heel. I leapt over the railing and landed soundlessly two stories below. I looked up and saw Christian heaving himself over as well.

I pulled up my sweats leg and showed the stake, pulling it out I slid into a stance with Christian behind me.

The nausea got worst and worse until it was almost unbearable.

"They must really want them dead," I said.

"That many, huh, well I guess we're going to have a lot of fun tonight aren't we?" He said sarcastically.

"Fighting from dusk 'til dawn," I muttered, he chuckled.

The first line of Strigoi showed their faced and launched at us, this would most definitely be a fight to remember.


	3. Sobbed Screams and Blood

We had been fighting for so long that all I could focus on was the Strigoi, what I was doing and just barely, Christian. He looked tired and about ready to pass out, I quickly staked the Strigoi in front of me then ran to stand in front of Christian.

There was no one but us in the field but I knew another flood of them would come soon.

"Are you okay?" I asked, looking over my shoulder to see if he was wounded, he was, but nothing terribly serious.

"I'm fine, but what about you?" He asked looking me over as best as he could.

"I'm fine," I said, repeating his answer.

"From what I see you're far from fine," He said, taking a shaky step towards me.

"I'll live," I grunted as another wave of nausea hit me. "Get ready for another set," I all but shouted. Lissa and everyone else had yet to come outside, thank goodness, and they probably hadn't noticed, or if they did they were too scared to come out.

"Damn it to hell!" He yelled as they made their appearance. He stepped in front of me and a line of fire appeared as the Strigoi ran, it came up so fast they ran through it and caught on fire themselves.

Acting on instinct I shoved Christian out of the way and charge to the crowd of Strigoi. I quickly killed all the ones on fire just as the line of fire disappeared. At least ten more of them appeared and instead of running at me three ran at a hunched over Christian.

"Christian! Look out!" I screamed. He looked up and dodged their attack. I went to run after him but my hair, which came out of its ponytail, someone was suddenly pulling my hair and pulling me back. I screamed out in pain and my hand went to clutch my hair, trying to ease the pain. One of the Strigoi used his claws to cut me while others looked on waiting for their turn.

Trying effortlessly to turn around and stake the Strigoi that was holding me. I calmed down and stopped struggling so I could think for a minute. An idea shot into my head and I closed my eyes tight and took hold of my stake and brought it to my hair.

In one swift movement the pain stopped and I jerked forward. I growled and spun around to see a very shocked Strigoi; I pounced and quickly ended his pathetic life.

The whole exchange couldn't have been any longer than a minute but it had felt like an eternity; I turned just barely to see Christian barely holding his own against two Strigoi. I turned to be face with the other Strigoi that surrounded me.

I managed to kill them swiftly and easily, taking their blows as if it were nothing (even though they hurt like hell), before kneeling over as I tried to catch my breath.

"Christian!" Someone screamed, my head snapped up to see Lissa standing by the door with Dimitri behind her staring wide eyed at us. When Christian got distracted the blonde Strigoi took advantage and grabbed him by the throat before sinking his teeth into it.

"Chris!" I shouted while Dimitri looked lost and angry at the panic in my voice as Lissa continued to scream. "NATHAN!" I screamed out, the Strigoi pulled away, grinning at me wildly. Now Lissa stopped screaming as she looked between the two of us.

"Yes Rosemarie?" He asked with false innocence.

"Let him go," I said through clenched teeth. Lissa took a step forward causing Nathan to look at her and tighten his grip on a barely conscious Christian.

"One more step princess and he's dead!" He threatened. Lissa let out a strangled sob as she fell back.

"Take me," I said suddenly.

"Rose, no!" Dimitri yelled, I just looked at him briefly before looking back at the last standing Strigoi on this death filled field.

Nathan seemed to think about this for a moment before shrugging and dropping Christian to the ground and coming at me. My heart race as he grabbed my hair and yanked my head to the side so they could see what he was going to do; just then Alberta and Stan burst through the door and froze in horror as Nathan's razor sharp teeth penetrated my throat.

I let out an agonized scream from the pain as he continued to drink, the whole time I couldn't bring myself to look away from Dimitri's pain filled eyes. I was silently telling him that it was okay, that I'd be fine, and that I still loved him.

Suddenly Nathan pulled away from my throat and bit into his hand, the blood came out and he put it to my mouth, I turned my head weakly.'

"ROSE!!!" Dimitri's scream rang through the empty yard. I weakly reached out to him, wanting, no needing to get away so I could be in his arm. Lissa stood paralyzed as she watched the scene before her.

I let my guard down and her thought and emotions crashed over me dragging me into her head. I felt her emotions ten fold as I looked at myself through her eyes. I looked to broken, bruised and bloody. She was scared for me, against her better judgment she want to heal me and Christian who was also watching the scene with half open eyes.

I pulled back into my own head. 

"Drink, or I'll kill the Dragomir," He hissed into my ear. I looked panicked from Lissa to Dimitri to Alberta and Stan and then back again.

"Run," I whispered as he shoved his wrist into my mouth. His blood was warm as it slides down my throat. I felt stronger and my wounds started to close but that's it, just then the Sun started to come up. He swore and released me and tried to take off.

Just as he let go of me I whipped around, grabbed his arm, threw him to the ground and pounced on him with my stake.

"The game ends here," I said before bringing my stake down.

"But my dear, it's only just begun," He murmured before he died. My body was in agony but I some how manage to stand up on shaky legs and managed to walk over to Christian. He put a shaking hand on my cheek and his thumb traced under my eyes.

"Your eyes aren't red…" he breathed before he started coughing up blood.

"A little blood isn't going to take me over, it'll affect me, but not change me," I murmured knowingly.

"It was a fight to remember," He quoted himself. I smiled and nodded.

"You can't die on me man, I need you here," I said as he started to close his eyes.

"I'm so tired," He murmured. I slapped him.

"Don't go to sleep, you need to fight it." I scolded.

"Sorry Rose..," he whispered as his breathe left him. Tears pooled in his eyes as I tried to wake him up.

"Chris? Chris! Wake up man, I need you here, you can't leave me!" I cried out, shaking him harder. "Come on Fire boy, wake up, fight it!" I yelled. Nothing. "Fight God dammit, fight!" I yelled, pounding his chest before trying CPR.

Lissa started sobbing and shaking into Alberta's chest as Dimitri looked at me with confusion and pain while Stan looked about ready to pass out.

"You can't leave me here alone! Please, fight!" I screamed starting to get hysterical.

'Give him blood,' a voice at the back of my mind said. Not even thinking about I bite into my wrist until blood came out. I propped him up on my knee and forced his mouth open and let the blood slid in. I don't know how long I sat there giving him blood until he ended up clutching my wrist to his mouth, letting his fangs sink into my skin.

I hissed out in pain before the endorphin mixed in with my blood. After a minute or two I started to get a bit dizzy so I gently pried my wrist away from his mouth, a small smile on my lips when he sat up, looked at me then blushed.

"I guess I taste good," I joked as I passed out falling into my brother's arms.

I distantly heard someone singing softly, it was a voice that I had grown accustom to in the past two years, Christian.

"A last fire will rise behind those eyes  
Black house will rock, blind boys don't lie  
Immortal fear, that voice so clear  
Through broken walls, that scream I hear

Cry, little sister - (Thou shall not fall)  
Come, come to your brother - (Thou shall not die)  
Unchain me, sister - (Thou shall not fear)  
Love is with your brother - (Thou shall not kill)

Blue masquerade, strangers look on  
When will they learn this loneliness?  
Temptation heat beats like a drum  
Deep in your veins, I will not lie

Little sister - (Thou shall not fall)  
Come, come to your brother - (Thou shall not die)  
Unchain me, sister - (Thou shall not fear)  
Love is with your brother - (Thou shall not kill)

My Shangri-Las  
I can't forget  
Why you were mine  
I need you now

Cry, little sister - (Thou shall not fall)  
Come, come to your brother - (Thou shall not die)  
Unchain me, sister - (Thou shall not fear)  
Love is with your brother - (Thou shall not kill)

Cryyyy, little sister - (Thou shall not fall)  
Come, come to your brother - (Thou shall not die)  
Unchain me, sister - (Thou shall not fear)  
Love is with your brother - (Thou shall not kill)

Cry, cryyyyyy little sister - (Thou shall not fall)  
Come, come to your brother - (Thou shall not die)  
Unchain me, sister - (Thou shall not fear)  
Love is with your brother - (Thou shall not kill)

Thou shall not fall  
Thou shall not die  
Thou shall not fear  
Thou shall not kill

Thou shall not fall

Thou shall not die

Thou shall not fear

Thou shall not kill"

"Cry Little Sister by, Aiden"

Christian sang softly, the whole time I tried to talk to no avail. Finally I manage to open my mouth to talk.

"Never thought you cared so much," I rasped out, my throat sore from both the bite and the lack of use. He chuckled quietly.

"And I never you cared so much either," He chuckled, I opened my eyes and saw him lean back to pick up a cup of water and held it my lips, I drank it greedily as it soothed my throat. "So Nathan is finally dead." He stated.

I nodded. "While I may not be a Strigoi, I can feel the changes," I said. He looked at me before looking away.

"I could have killed you the other night, I've never been so thirsty before," he said, turning his back to me. I put my hand on his shoulder and made him look at me as I sat up.

"But you didn't, you died or almost died the other night, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I hadn't done everything I could think of." I stated.

"That explains the hair," He joked. I chuckled and look in the mirror. My hair instead of falling past my waist fell to the middle of my back.

"Not funny," I groaned. "I'll have to let Lindsey cut it and style it."

"Yes you will," He laughed.

"I think we need to talk about Lissa and Dimitri," I stated, walking back to my bed and sitting across from him.

He sighed and looked away. "I still love her," He murmured.

"And I'm no her, I'm just the cover of a magazine," I joked lightly.

He stuck his tongue out and me I chuckled.

"She still loves you too, we need to sit them and talk to them, tell them everything, including the ring," I said. He sighed in defeat and nodded.

"After dinner, wait do you still love Belikov?" He asked. I looked at him like he was the biggest idiot in the world.

"With all my heart," I murmured. He nodded just as my stomach growled. He full out laughed; I swatted his arm and chuckled. "Do you ever plan on feeding the Dhampir?" I complained.

"Go shower and I'll make dinner," he said, making a shoo motion. I laughed and went to my bathroom and took a much needed shower.

I came out of the shower, wrapped my hair in a towel and put on a robe before sticking my head out into the hall.

"LINDSEY!!!" I yelled.

"WHAT?!?" She yelled back.

"Get your skinny ass over here; I need you to cut my hair!" I yelled, in five minutes flat she was in my room with a pair of scissors and a comb.

After about an hour of cutting and my protest on her flat ironing my hair my hair was done, I gasped and touched my hair, it was slightly short but I loved it (Pic on profile just imagine it longer).

"Thank you!" I squealed. "Now help me get dressed." She nodded and sped into my closet while I pulled on a thong and a matching bra set. Lindsey ran back out with a short black dress and smiling like crazy. (Pic on profile) Sighing quietly I pulled on the dress and left my legs and feet bare.

I put on a stainless steel heart spinner ring on my right ring finger, a red and black cross choker, a rose stud ear cuff and a Him heartagram rubber bracelet. (Hopefully all is on my profile) I put on some clear lip gloss, eyeliner and some mascara and I was done. I looked at Lin and posed.

"Looking good biatch, you're going to give them boys some trouble today!" She exclaimed. I smiled and said thank you before leaving the room only to be assaulted by the smell of dinner.

My mouth water slightly and I ran down stairs.

"Smells good Chris," I complemented, looking over my shoulder to nod at Dimitri and Lissa, Stan and Alberta were no where in sight. I saw Mike leaning back in a chair, a beer in his hand, I smirked, waltzed over to him, took his beer and sat on his lap.

"Hey!" He protested. I took a swing from the drink and looked up to see Christian trying to stifle his laughter when we heard Dimitri growl.

"Hey Comrade," I said, he looked at me, surprise in his eyes at his old nickname. "Cool it," Christian walked up behind me, smacked the back of my head and set a plate of food on the table.

I moved off of Mike's lap and dug into the food. It melted in my mouth and I groaned quietly, everyone else got food; Lin took my spot on Mike as they fed each other, while Christian sat next to me across from Dimitri and Lissa.

From the bond I could tell that Adrian had used compulsion on Lin and Mike so they wouldn't remember a lot of what happened yesterday, so after using so much compulsion he ended up drinking himself stupid and was currently sleeping off a hang over.

"I'll waste my time whenever I like  
I'm feelin ok with my whiskey hangover  
oh yeah yeah  
cuz I'll walk dead or alive  
I'll waste my time whenever I like  
I'm feelin ok with my whiskey hangover  
with my whiskey hangover  
with my whiskey hangover"

"Whiskey Hangover, by Godsmack"

I started mumbling the lyrics quietly causing Mike and Lin to start laughing since they knew about Adrian's drinking. Christian's lips were quivering from the effort to keep from laughing.

"Oh come on Chrissy, you know you want to laugh, come on laugh," Mike taunted, Chris shook his head stubbornly still trying not to laugh, Lin and I exchanged a look before looking at Christian, crossing our eyes, pulling out our ears and filling out mouths with air, causing us to look like monkeys.

Christian closed his eyes so I laughed and looked around.

"Oh oh, ahh ahh, oh look banana!" I said and that was it, he broke out laughing so hard he fell to the floor, clutching his gut and tears streaming down his face. Lin and Mike started clapping; we had made it a game to make Chris laugh when ever he was too serious.

"Go Rose!" Mike whooped. I stood up and bowed.

"Thank you, thank you, you're too kind!" I said, waving to nothing. I turned around and looked down at a now semi- calm Christian. I put my hand out to help him up but he clutched my forearm and pulled me down and over, but he messed up the move and our foreheads smashed together before I went over his head.

"Ow!" I whined, one hand making sure my dress didn't go up and the other clutching my head. "If you're gonna fuck up a move, do it while I'm wearing something that has legs!"

"Sorry," He grinned sheepishly, both of us chuckled and stood up. We looked at each other then sighed, knowing what was going to come next.

"Not as much as I am," I murmured so quietly I'm sure he barely heard it. He nodded and we turned to face everyone, my guardian mask slamming into place.

"Lin, Mike, why don't you go find Alberta and Stan and show them around the area," Chris suggested, not taking his eyes off of Lissa. Once they both left Lissa turned to me and narrowed her eyes.

"What are you two doing?" She spat, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I forced myself to stay calm. 'She doesn't know, she doesn't know,' I had to keep chanting to myself.

"I think we need to talk," I stated calmly. Lissa looked like she was about to protest but Dimitri interrupted.

"I think that would clear up some of this nonsense," he said.

"It's settle all of it," I remarked. "Did you get the box?" I asked, Christian shook his head and I sighed before jerking my head over my shoulder silently telling him to take them to the Living Room. He nodded and I ran up the stairs and straight into his room.

I went through all his stuff and couldn't find it.

"Did you find it?!" He yelled.

"No! Where the hell is it?!" I yelled back.

"In the closet, bottom left in the shoe box!" He called. My jaw dropped slightly as I went into the closet and found it.

"Do you mind telling me how the fuck I was supposed to find it?!" I called as I brought down the shoe box which held a box in a box in a box in a few more boxes and then the ring. I walked into the room only to see him shrug; I just clocked him in the back of the head before sitting next to him. "So, where to start," I murmured.

"The beginning would be alright," Dimitri said softly, I couldn't help the small smile that appeared on my face.

"I'll tell the story then," I said to Christian who just nodded. "It started about a month and a half after I agreed to teach Christian how to fight, I had been doing my stretches and listening to one of my favorite bands at the time, they hadn't been very popular but I liked them." I said, nodding to myself. "So he walks in and goes 'Is that Seether (let's just pretend they weren't very famous)?' Now I was shocked beyond relief, I just said yea and told him to get starching. We started talking; turns out we had _a lot_ more in common then either of us was ready for." I chuckled.

"So Rose took it easy on me, we ended up talking the whole practice; you would have thought we'd never talked to each other before. Our relationship built off of that. We got closer and I looked at her like a sister." He continued.

"And I looked at him like a brother, we hung out after that, just not in public, we kept up the snapping at each other and stuff like that. We had been hanging out for about six months and we had been watching a movie in his room when he told me that he had wanted to take your relationship to the next level." I said, looking directly at Lissa as her lips parted slightly. "I was beyond ecstatic, but he swore me to secrecy because I was going to go run and tell you, Dimitri," I took a deep breath and looked away, blinking back the tears.

"I wanted it to be a complete surprise, after a few more weeks of planning I was went shopping for rings, but I couldn't find anything so that weekend on Rose's day off I dragged her to the mall saying she was going to guard me while I was out." Christian stated I chuckled remembering his lost face in the ring store.

"I was reluctant but I told you I would be working a really late shift and not to wait up for me," I said, looking Dimitri in the eye as I spoke. "We went to the mall and looked for a while until I finally found the perfect rings, it was both the engagement ring and the wedding ring together, he bought it and we left." I pulled out the boxes and tossed them to the side until I got to the little jewelry box and opened it, showing them the ring.

"The lady thought we were together but we laughed it off and started heading home, she got hungry so we pulled over, got something to eat before going back to Court." He said watching Lissa's expression as the awe, happiness, sadness, regret and self-anger blazed through her.

"When we got back, I felt you looking for us so I yelled at him to hide the ring, the last thing we needed was for you to find out not even five days before he proposed." I chuckled. "That Friday he was going to take you and the rest of us to that little Italian restaurant Dimitri and I had found when we first moved, remember, it had the really good food," I said, Dimitri was the one to look away. "I sent you away and I was going to just walk him to his room then go back the Dimitri but then I was sooo tired and I didn't want to wake you up." I silently pleaded with him to understand.

"That was the day we…," Dimitri said, I nodded.

"I told him I would crash on the couch," I said.

"But you were wearing his shirt!" Lissa exclaimed for the first time.

"I went and took one of his shirts and a blanket before he went to bed. I took off my clothes, except underwear and those thick leggings I had had, and I put on his shirt and I fell asleep." They both seemed to understand but I could tell they were curious about when they barged in. "He was making breakfast when I woke up so I just went and lazily looked over his shoulder, my head felt heavy so I was resting my chin on his shoulder, I asked him the occasion, he said there was none that he was going to cook and leave but since I was awake, and then you guys ran in and started yelling." I sighed.

"We… I…we didn't know… it looked like…,"Lissa stuttered.

"Looks can be very deceiving," Christian said. I stood up and sat lightly on the table in front of her, resting my hands on her shoulders.

"Liss, almost my whole life I had been protecting you, I even jeopardized being sent to a commune so that you would be okay, why, why in God's name would you think I would do something like that to you. For over 15 years of my life I spent not once hurting you, even now, I've taken your darkness and made it my own more than once going on a rampage in the gym and almost going insane and you hated me. How could you think so lowly of me?" The tears that built up, only one escaped

"I am so so sorry," She sobbed as the flood gates opened. "I should have let you explain, I am so sorry, can you ever forgive me?"

"I forgave you the day it happened," I whispered as she leapt into my arms, sobbing into my chest. After a few minutes of her cry she pulled away from me and looked me in the eye.

"I am so sorry I let something so stupid and trivial break us apart." She said.

"It's okay, but I'm not the only one you need to be apologizing to," I murmured, she nodded before sitting next to Christian and started apologizing profusely, he looked at me over her shoulder and mouthed 'Thank you,' I just winked and smiled, glad to see that they would be okay.

My smile faltered slightly when I saw Dimitri, I wanted him, no I _needed_ him, but now all I could think about was what he said. "You really live up to your reputation don't you; I could have excepted this with Ivashkov but with Ozera? I never thought you'd sink that low,"

I closed my eyes and rushed out of the room, going into the band room.

"I'll take my records, but not my freedom I'll take my memories because still I need 'em I'll take my space and all my reasons But you will think of me I'll take my bag and leave your sweater 'Cause we have nothing left to weather In fact you'll feel a whole lot better And you'll think of me, but you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this And all the baggage that seems to still exist It seems the only blessing I have left to my name Is not knowing what we could have been What we should have been…"

I sang softly, strumming the guitar in time with the words.

"I did think of you, every minute of every day I thought of you," Dimitri's warm voice murmured.

"Why didn't you let me explain that day?" I asked.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him just yet. I would take him back, maybe not today but I would in time, he needed to see my side.


	4. Rude Boy and Double Meanings

_**I know its been a while, but I haven't given up on any of my stories, I plan to update soon, just be patient. I have a new One shot out called "Youth of the Nation" read it and review, you might enjoy it! Well love you all and I don't own anything except Lin and Mike but yea. Not everything is as it seems in this chapter! **_

"I... I don't know," He murmured. I nodded and shook my head before letting out a humorless laugh; the darkness was starting to get to me again.

"Before I say something I might regret let me leave." I said coldly as I walked out of the room and down some stairs. I heard Dimitri following me so I opened a secret door (one of many in this house) took a candle and lighted it up then walked up a flight of steps then around a corner before going up another flight before coming up to a door.

I blew out the candle then opened the door and was led to a secret room that only the band and I knew about. It was easy to locate but no one really paid enough attention to realize what was really on the inside.

There was a full out bar, pool table, and T.V in this room. Christian and I were the main two to use the room because I tended to drink when the spirit was getting to me but it wasn't all the time, normally I would be in the gym taking it out on the dummies.

I groaned softly and walked behind the bar as a headache started to pound horribly. I pulled my up into a high pony tail and let my bangs stay in my face.

Taking out three shot classes I poured Russian Vodka into each of them before taking a deep breath and downing them all with ease. The burn raced from my throat, down my chest, and into my stomach.

I picked up the remote on the counter and hit play lowered the music to background music. Sighing I quickly rinsed the glasses before taking out a glass and made rum and coke, adding more rum than usual.

I clicked on the T.V and put it on mute so I could just watch it and listen to music while I set up the pool table. I took a long sip from my drink as I grabbed a pool stick.

Setting the class aside I lined up my shot and aimed before breaking the bunch. There was a crack like sound and three balls went into a pocket.

I picked up my glass and took a long drink, draining half of the liquor easily. I played some more and ended up finishing the drink faster than I should have when there was a quick tap on the door before it opened to reveal a happy looking Christian. I had just finished refilling my cup when he looked up at me, probably already knowing I was here, and smirked that sarcastic smirk that I myself had to mirror it.

"I see you're on rum and coke, more rum than coke and knowing you you've already had at least two shots." He observed easily. "It's getting worse isn't it." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Am I getting that obvious? I think it's the Strigoi blood that's making me more sensitive to the darkness." I answered followed by a deep drink of my coke. I aimed my next shot and made the ball in.

I set the pool stick down and sat on one of the bar stools.

"We don't know what that blood is going to do to you; we don't know how much he drank or how much you drank, for all we know you could be in the process of the turn." He said all sarcasm gone.

"If I'm going Strigoi then you already know what I want." I stated simply. He nodded.

There was a comfortable silence as I finished the rest of my coke as we listened to the music I had put on.

"How about a Quick Fuck," I asked as I passed him my glass.

"Why now?" He responded.

"Cause, I'm stressed and I wanna finish before the others find us." I stated.

"Always in a rush!" He joked.

"You know it babe!" I winked as he laughed.

"So how about a Screaming Orgasm on the house," He teased.

"On the house, since when do I pay you to do your job!" I teased sarcastically.

"My job?" He asked.

"Yea, to make sure all my needs are met!" I smiled and he chuckled softly.

"Of course my sweet!" He teased. Suddenly I became aware of Lissa's presence behind the door. I looked Christian in the eye, tapped my ear the pointed to the door. He nodded even though I could tell he wanted to scream.

He made the shots in seconds and set one in front of me and one in his hand. I swallowed mine without hesitation and moaned softly.

"Just the way I like it!" I said shaking of the burn. He chuckled and swallowed his before pouring in the appropriate liquors into a class for a Screaming Orgasm. As he was pouring the Vodka he was about to stop when I shouted. "Don't stop keep going!"

I was aware of the heart break and anger coming from behind the door. I rolled my eyes as she built her nerve up to open the door.

I picked up my drink and sipped at it, tasting the milk and cream mix with the Vodka and I smirked standing up and walking over to the pool table to pick up my stick.

"So you ready to play?" I asked, pointing the stick in his direction as I took another drink.

"Like you could take on my awesomeness!" He joked.

"I don't see anything awesome," I joked in return. Finally the door opened and Lissa stood there looking around as if to see us naked or in bed or something (Which I know is what she expected). "Hey Liss," I smiled taking a longer drink from my half empty class.

Christian took on of his Ass shots and made a face before offering me one. I nodded silently and handed him my drink and slammed back the shot.

"But.. I… you…," Lissa stuttered as I started to laugh, Christian chuckled around his mouthful of my drink.

"No worries, we know what you thought, now come join the party since you're already here!" I smiled. "Unless you want to play a prank on Dimitri," I said nonchalantly as I took back my drink.

"OH my God," She muttered as she walked in and closed the door. Christian walked over to Lissa while I took his position behind the bar.

"So what do you two want? Slippery Nipples, The Blow Job, Blue Balls or maybe a Suck, Bang and Blow," I listed off a few drinks, Lissa looked lost while Christian smiled.

"Give me a Black Russian," Christian said, even though I could he wanted something stronger.

"Coming right up," I smiled and poured the two liquors into the ice filled tumbler. I slid him the drink and started mixing my own. I finished and leaned back, looking at Lissa expectantly.

She said nothing finally I sighed and pulled out some Vodka and Orange Juice.

"Screwdriver?" Christian asked.

"Yep," I said as I poured it into the glass and put it in front of Lissa. She smiled thankfully and sipped it while I downed the rest of my drink. The burn raced down my throat and I welcomed it, anything to take away these fucking memories.

Unknowingly I had looked away and I tried to shove all my thoughts into a box in the back of my mind.

"Rose?" Christian asked, snapping me out of my daze. I nodded my head and he tilted his head to the side causing me to shrug. The conversation was silent but clear.

(Just in case her nodding her head was "Yea," Him tilting his head was "Are you okay?" and Her shrugging was "I think so,")

"So tell me, what have you two been up to these past two years?" Lissa asked.

"Nothing much," We said simultaneously. We put on our matching smirks and looked at Lissa who looked about ready to shout in confusion.

I felt someone step into the hallway and I instantly realized it was Dimitri. Quickly I brought my finger to my lips to stop them from talking. I looked at Christian and gestured to my heart and pointed in the direction of the hall way. I briefly made small circles with my finger by my temple, he simply smiled then nodded.

"Lissa stay quiet, we are going to play a mind game on Belikov." Christian whispered into Lissa's ear, how I was able to hear I have no idea.

"Okay," She murmured and sat down. I made a few shots and set them in a row. We (me and Christian) knocked them back one at a time until we finished. I started giggling like a school girl.

"Oh Chirs! Don't do that! That tickles!" I said between my "giggles" Lissa looked shocked.

"You know you like it!" He said as he started laughing as well. I finished of my drink and smiled as I thought of what to drink.

"Chrissy," I slurred out.

"Huh." He asked, I walked around the bar and grabbed his hand and brought him to the pool table and had him stand at one side with me on the other.

"Just like that," I said with a low "moan" that sounded forced from me trying not to laugh, Lissa was trying not to laugh as we just stood there.

"Slower?" He asked loudly bending over to look at his shots.

"Of course not, faster, just like I told you," I said as he aimed up his shot and hit the ball softly. I went to walk to the other side of the table when I stubbed my toe, hard. "OW! Son of a bitch!" I yelled causing Lissa to cover her mouth to keep from laughing.

"You okay?" He asked as I hopped around. I nodded and bit my lip as he shot in the last few balls quietly. "You up for another round?" He asked as I sat behind the bar and grabbed a pack of ice while I poured a half a glass of Russian Vodka.

Lissa stood up from her spot on the stool and I handed her my pool stick and she took my previous spot, a mischievous grin on her face.

She felt bad but she knew we were just kidding and plus she was right there.

"I don't know I'm starting to get tired, last round whipped me out." I slurred loudly. Finally the door opened to show a beyond pissed Russian.

"Hi Dimitri, what's up?" Lissa asked. I quickly took out a hidden camera and snapped a picture of his shocked expression.

"Gotta love double meanings," I said as I drank the vodka trying not to cough as I refilled.

"Gotta love liquor to help!" Christian said holding up his glass. I held mine up before drinking down the drink.

Suddenly my always presents headache blazed and a un expected rage curled through me as ghosts appeared. My legs went stiff and I stumbled, only barely managing to catch myself on the side of the bar.

"Rose?" Christian asked, setting his stick to the side and took a step towards me I shook my head and growled softly, but it was loud enough for him to get the warning. I slammed my fist into the wall closest to me.

"Leave me alone!" I mentally shouted as I barely managed to move all of my blocks back into place, even with the ghosts gone I was still pissed and my head ache wasn't helping. "I can't believe Imma 'bout to do this." I said as I took the closest bottle Vodka, snapped off the top and brought it to my mouth.

"What are you… what is she doing?" Dimitri asked gesturing to the bottle in my hand that was already half empty. The burn sat in my stomach and temporarily took my thoughts away from everything.

"Shit this burns, what is this," I read the label then smiled and looked at Chris.

"It's the Russian isn't it?" He asked knowingly.

"Definitely the Russian, explains a lot, oh baby Jesus in heaven I'm gonna be soo fucked up it won't even be funny." I laughed.

"Hey, more fun for us," Christian said swiping the bottle out of my hand and taking a swing. He ended up coughing up a storm as he handed it back. I chuckled and took another swing, trying desperately to shove the anger into the back of my mind.

As I set the bottle down and pushed myself from the counter the room started to spin causing me to smirk.

"Yep, definitely gonna be fucked up," I muttered as my thoughts started to haze over. "Mmm," I moaned softly at the temporary bliss before I giggled.

Dimitri didn't seem to know what to do so Christian shrugged before going behind the bar and handing him a beer.

I sat next to Lissa and we started talking while Chris and Dimitri talked. I continued to drink myself stupid all the while until finally I heard one of our songs come on the radio. I squealed.

"Chris! Dance with me!" I said pulling his arm suddenly; he listened to the song for a moment before nodding and walking around the bar and with me to the middle of the room.

" Yes I can see her

Cuz every girl in here wanna be her  
Oh she's a diva  
I feel the same and I wonna meet her" Chris sang with the song, matching his own voice on the radio.

Lissa's mouth dropped slightly as I walked around him like I was study him until he took hold of my hand and spun me so my back was pressed against his chest.

"How about we keep this clean, no need for other assumptions," Christian murmured in my ear softly and I barely nodded.

"They say she low down  
Its just a rumor and I don't believe em  
They say she needs to slow down  
The baddest thing around town

She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before  
Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood hoe  
I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful  
The way that booty movin I can't take no more  
Have to stop what i'm doin so I can pull up close  
I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful

Dam girl  
Dam you'se a sexy bitch  
A sexy bitch  
Dam you'se a sexy bitch  
Dam girl

Dam you'se a sexy bitch  
A sexy bitch  
Dam you'se a sexy bitch  
Dam girl

Yes I can see her  
Cause every girl in here wonna be her  
Oh shes a diva  
I feel the same and I wonna meet her

They say she low down  
Its just a rumor and I don't believe em  
They say she needs to slow down  
The baddest thing around town

She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before  
Nothing you can compare to your neighbourhood hoe  
I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful  
The way that booty movin I can't take no more  
Have to stop what i'm doin so I can pull up close  
I'm tryna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful

Dam girl  
Dam you're a sexy bitch  
A sexy bitch  
Dam you're a sexy bitch  
Dam girl

Dam you're a sexy bitch  
A sexy bitch  
Dam you're a sexy bitch  
Dam girl

Dam you're a sexy bitch  
A sexy bitch  
Dam you're a sexy bitch  
Dam girl

Dam you're a sexy bitch  
A sexy bitch  
Dam you're a sexy bitch  
Dam you're a sexy bitch"

"Sexy Bitch by Akon"

We let the radio do the singing as we danced nothing terrible but it was nothing compared to how we used to dance.

I knew no matter what anyone else thought, no matter how it seemed, me and Chris were always going to be brother and sister, nothing more.

"Okay, since we're getting so many requests for Swirling Shadows (AN: I cant think of a good bad name so anyone just leave it on the review or just message me) we are just going to do an hour of no commercials and just there songs! So enjoy!" The guy on the radio said I cheered.

The bar door opened as soon as the next song started.

"I heard that! Oh my God!" Lin said as she hopped into the room with Mike behind her.

"I know!" I squealed then swayed slightly.

"You're drunk." They accused. I nodded and picked up the remote to the music and turning it up.

"Every night I rush to my bed  
With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you  
When I close my eyes I'm going out of my head  
Lost in a fairytale, can you hold my hands and be my guide?"

I sang this time and regardless of the fact that I was drunk I sang the notes perfectly. This was something that I had had to practice in the beginning, I had done some things I'm not quiet proud of.

"Clouds filled with stars cover the skies  
And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby  
What kinda dream is this?

You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare  
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you  
(Turn the lights on)

Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare  
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true  
(Turn the lights on)

My guilty pleasure, I ain't going no where  
Baby long as you're here I'll be floating on air  
'Cause you're my

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare  
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you  
(Turn the lights on)

I mention you when I say my prayers  
I wrap you around all of my thoughts  
Boy you're my temporary high

I wish that when I wake up you're there  
To wrap your arms around me for real  
And tell me you'll stay by side

Clouds filled with stars cover the skies  
And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby  
What kinda dream is this?

You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare  
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you  
(Turn the lights on)

Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare  
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true  
(Turn the lights on)

My guilty pleasure, I ain't going no where  
Baby long as you're here I'll be floating on air  
'Cause you're my

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare  
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you  
(Turn the lights on)

Tattoo your name across my heart so it will remain  
Not even death can make us part  
What kind of dream is this?

You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare  
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you  
(Turn the lights on)

Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare  
Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true  
(Turn the lights on)

My guilty pleasure, I ain't going no where  
Baby long as you're here I'll be floating on air  
'Cause you're my

You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare  
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you  
(Turn the lights on)  
Either way I don't wanna wake up from you"

'Sweet Dreams by BEyonce'

I finished with the song, well, my song, but I was dancing with Mike while Lin danced with Chris, we all moved with ease that came with a year and a half of dancing together.

Jealously started to seep into me from the bond even though I shouldn't be able to feel anything but it must have been pretty bad.

"Christian! Dans Lissa ile sonraki şarkı, o son derece kıskanç gidiyor!" (Christian! Dance with Lissa next song, she's getting extremely jealous! In Turkish!)

"Sure sure," He said simply but no one noticed, well Mike and Lin did but still.

Christian went and stood by Lissa and made me a drink while the next song. When the beat of the song started Mike just shook is head and joined everyone else at the bar.

"_**Come on rude boy, boy  
Can you get it up  
Come here rude boy, boy  
Is you big enough  
Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me"**_

We mimicked each other perfectly as she sang; with a roll of our stomach then moving sideways while rolling our body to the beat.

_**Come here rude boy, boy  
Can you get it up  
Come here rude boy, boy  
Is you big enough  
Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me**_

We pulled a mirror effect, our legs tangled as we braced each other and looked each other down then up before rolling our stomach then untangling ourselves.  
_**  
Tonight  
I'mma let you be the captain**_

We went back to back, our shoulders brushing as we made a salute then turning around to face each other.

_**Tonight  
I'mma let you do your thing, yeah**_

We stalked around each other once.

_**Tonight  
I'mma let you be a rider  
Giddy up  
Giddy up  
Giddy up, babe  
**_

We "rode the horse" as we turned so our back was to everyone else when we stood straight.

_**Tonight  
I'mma let it be fire  
**_

We fanned our face wit our hand.

_**Tonight  
I'mma let you take me higher  
**_

We jerked our thumb upwards.

_**Tonight  
Baby we can get it on, yeah  
we can get it on, yeah**_

_**Do you like it boy  
I wa-wa-want  
What you wa-wa-want  
Give it to me baby  
Like boom, boom, boom**_

_**What I wa-wa-want  
Is what you wa-wa-want  
Na, na-aaaah**_

We ticked our hips stiffly, turning slightly so we were facing them.

_**Come here rude boy, boy  
Can you get it up  
Come here rude boy, boy  
You should Is you big enough  
Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me  
**_

We rolled our stomach again followed by the mirror affect.

_**Come here rude boy, boy  
Can you get it up  
Come here rude boy, boy  
Is you big enough  
Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me**_

_**Tonight  
I'mma give it to you harder  
**_

We dropped into a squatting position and almost touched the floor before going back to the squat.

_**Tonight  
I'mma turn your body out  
**_

We rolled our hips in an almost seductive way.

_**Relax  
Let me do it how I wanna  
If you got it  
I need it  
And I'mma put it down**_

We opened our knees a little and thrust ourselves so our ass was almost grazing the floor._****_

Buckle up  
I'mma give it to you stronger  
Hands up  
We can go a little longer  


Our arms were in the air and we rolled our body from our chest to our hips.

_**Tonight  
I'mma get a little crazy  
Get a little crazy, baby**_

We rolled our hips in a circular motion and made our way to stand up.

_**Do you like it boy  
I wa-wa-want  
What you wa-wa-want  
Give it to me baby  
Like boom, boom, boom  
What I wa-wa-want**_  
_**Is what you wa-wa-want  
Na, na-aaaah**_

We ticked our hips again, this time harder as if to make a point.

_**Come here rude boy, boy  
Can you get it up  
Come here rude boy, boy  
Is you big enough  
Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me**_

We rolled our full body, this time with more purpose._****_

Come here rude boy, boy  
Can you get it up  
Come here rude boy, boy  
Is you big enough  
Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me

We did the mirror effect except we had our backs to each other.

_**I like the way you touch me there  
**_

My hand dropped to my inner thigh while Lin's hand went to her chest.

_**I like the way you pull my hair  
Babe, if I don't feel it I ain't faking  
No, no**_

We gently tugged each other's hair.

_**I like when you tell me kiss it there  
I like when you tell me move it there**_

With our hips touching we bent forward (facing the gang) press our lips to our palm and blew out the kiss.

_**So giddy up  
Time to giddy up  
You say you're a rude boy  
Show me what you got now**_

We rode the horse again,  
_**  
Come here right now**_

We pointed to our "guy" and made it seem like we wanted them there.

_**Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me**_

Come on rude boy, boy  
Can you get it up  
Come here rude boy, boy  
Is you big enough  
Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me

Come here rude boy, boy  
Can you get it up  
Come here rude boy, boy  
Is you big enough  
Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me

Love me  
Love me  
Love me  
Love me  
Love me  
Love me

We rolled our hips and slightly grinded on each other through out this part._**  
**_  
_**Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me**_

Love me  
Love me  
Love me  
Love me  
Love me  
Love me  
yeh yeh yeh ,

Take it, take it  
Baby, baby  
Take it, take it  
Love me, love me"

We rolled our body so that we squatting again except we were facing each other and our knees were sandwiched together. Then we dropped to our knees and rocked our hips slowly before we rolled our way back up, facing the other's with our backs and my right leg went between her legs and he left between mine. Finishing the song we looked at over shoulder and winked.

"Rude Boy by Rihanna"

"Even when drunk, this bitch can dance," Lin shouted causing me and Chris to laugh.

"Thank you, thank you, I'm here all night!" I laughed as I took the rum and coke Chris prepared.

"Damn Rose, you go girl!" Lissa said as she lifted her drink slightly to me and I smiled and nodded before taking a large drink from my coke before going to sit next to Christian.

My world span uncontrollably so I just closed my eyes, leaned back and took another swing of the drink.

Songs played and everyone danced but I couldn't bring myself to go back and dance so I just stayed behind the bar and drank myself even stupider. As hours dragged on Dimitri left, followed by Lin and Mike then eventually Lissa, followed by a hesitant Christian.

I could barely walk in a straight line as I walked to my room, I was walking based on memory as I opened the door and walked in to my closet as I changed into random pajamas.

Crawling into my bed I watched my world spin before I crashed down into a deep sleep.

There was screaming, why was there someone screaming, what's wrong. Where am I? Please stop the screaming! Suddenly, I realized it was me who was screaming and I just barely heard the concerned voice trying to drag me from my unconsciousness.

"Come on dammit, you have to wake up! It's a dream; it's all a dream, wake up, please." I heard the voice say in my ear.

My head was pounding as I barely cracked open my eyes and my dream came rushing back to me as the sobs enveloped me.

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, please," I sobbed clutching his shirt tightly in my fists.

"Shh… it's okay, it's gonna be okay, I promise," He said as he pulled me on to his lap and wrapped his arms me as he smoothed my hair back.

"Christian, it was so bad… so real, oh my God," I cried into his neck.

"I know sweetie, I heard your screams on the other side of the house." He said softly. He just let me cry as the memories from my nightmare replayed over and over in my head.

"Chris, swear to me, swear to me that you won't let me change, and if I do, swear to me that you'll kill me." I said making myself look him in the eye. He seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"I swear Rose," He said softly. "What was the dream about?" He asked. I looked away, ashamed.

"The blood turned me over, and it was like I was watching myself kill all the people I care about, one at time, one by one, each worst than the other. I remember the look on each one of their faces, I remember the absolute _**pleasure**_ I took from your fear and pain. The taste of blood in my throat, the rage that seemed to blind me…" I started to sob again and he held me tighter.

"It'll be okay," He said but we both knew that me turning Strigoi was a chance. My headache got worse and I closed my eyes to avoid the light. "Its okay, go to sleep, it's still early, I'll wake you up later." He murmured.

I nodded my acknowledgement as he put me back under covers and kissed my forehead before leaving. I drifted back into a dreamless slumber.

I woke up this time on much more pleasing terms as I got myself to my feet and into the bathroom to brush my teeth. I didn't much attention to anything else as I grabbed a robe and walked downstairs to the smell of coffee.

"Günaydın," I said as I walked into the kitchen. (Morning,)

"Günaydın," Lin and Christian said together. I reached out and Christian handed me an ice pack and a cup of coffee.

"Eğer Chris, teşekkürler" I mumbled as I rested the pack on my forehead and sipped the coffee and hummed at it's creamy texture. (Translation: Thank you, Chris,)

"Hoşgeldiniz ve çörekler burada olmalı… 3, 2, 1," The front door opened and I was immediately hit with the smell of donuts, I hummed again. (Translation: Welcome, and donuts should be here in…)

"Morning Mike, now hurry up!" I called before groaning as my head throbbed. I heard him chuckle and a moment later he walked through the door with a box of heaven. When he walked by I stood up and quickly took out a donut before sitting back in the chair.

We all started munching on the donuts quietly when suddenly Mike spoke up.

"You know, when I walked out the Shipley's I saw this bad ass Mercedes SLR, it was all black and hauling ass through town." He said lazily wrapping an arm around Lindsey, I could tell he was implying something and it tickled the back of my mind but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Adrian, who I hadn't noticed was here, said, bringing my attention that Lissa and Dimitri were also in the kitchen, huh.

"I got a glimpse of the license plate," He mused, taking a bite from his donut.

"And," Christian prompted, annoyance clear in his eyes, I chuckled.

"It said 'Old Man'" he said and I shot up.

"Fuck! I completely forgot, shit!" I yelled, ignoring my hang over as I leapt of the counter and shook Christian. "Why didn't you remind me?" I shouted.

"Why didn't you remember?" He panicked with me.

"MIKE! Did you remember that he was supposed to be coming!" I yelled turning on him.

"No," He said, raising his hands in surrender. I heard a car coming up the drive and I squeaked.

"He's here!" I panicked.

"What, how do you know?" Christian asked, turning me to face him.

"I don't know, I can hear the car…," I started to panic worst so I started stumbling over my words. I felt a sting on my cheek but my head barely moved.

"You good now?" He asked, putting his hands on my shoulder. There was a growl from the table and when I looked over I say Dimitri starting to stand up. I looked back at Chris then nodded.

"I'm good, better, thank you," I said before smacking him up side the head.

"Pay back," he stated knowingly, I nodded, and just then the door bell rang, we all stiffened.

"I got it!" We yelled in unison before glaring at each other and taking off for the door. I was faster and was about to open the door when Christian tackled me into the Living Room, just barely missing the wall.

He landed on top of me so I kicked him off of me and went to go back to the door. Christian started pulling my leg; I kicked off his hand and got up to run to door. There was a rush of heat that passed me and it hit my favorite case in the hall.

"Oh shit," I heard him mutter. I turn on his then and started stalking toward him.

"Mike! Get the door!" I yelled before I pounced on Christian. We went from choking each other to slamming each other's head in to the floor, at one point I even dragged him by his hair to the other side of the room. At some point we broke another vase and it hit the ground with a loud crash. After a short time though I put him in a head lock then grabbed his leg, bent it then brought it straight back.

"What the hell," I heard some one say as Christian yelp in pain as I tightened my holds.

"You still wanna throw fire balls in the house?" I growled. He shook his head and winced.

"Now I thought you had more manners than that, kiz." I heard an rich, smooth, accented voice say from behind me. I shoot up and turned around, a huge smile on my face.

"Baba!" I squealed as I ran to him and jumped into his arms. He laughed and caught me.

"Did you miss me?" he asked teasingly as he kissed my cheek then set me down.

"Of course, how have you been?" I asked looked his face over, everything was the same, the scarf, his earring, his slicked back hair and brown eyes.

"I've been good, busy, very busy, but good, and you?" he asked.

"I've been…," I tried to think of a good word, when nothing came to mind I lied. "I've been great!" I said with a false smile. He sighed and I could see the amusement and the annoyance in his eyes.

"What have I told you about lying to me little girl," he asked, almost growled.

"Too much old man," I said lightly.

"Mr. Mazur, pleasure to see you again," Christian said politely, his out and waiting for Abe to respond.

"Christian, it's Abe, no formalities, and it's good to see you as well," He said with a smirk before shaking Christian's hand. "Lindsey, beautiful as ever," He added looking at Mike and Lin.

"Thank you." She blushed before taking Mike's hand and leading him back into the kitchen.

"Come on, every one is in the kitchen," I said as I took dad's hand and led him into the kitchen.

"Oh, nice pajama's by the way," Abe said, looking down at me as I looked at what I was wearing.

Boy shorts and a skin tight tank top that rode up my stomach every time I moved and my robe that went to mid thigh. I felt heat rising to my cheeks as I nervously tugged on my robe.

"I'm gonna go change…," I said awkwardly before darting upstairs. I jumped in the shower and quickly shaved before cleaning myself off then running to my room and put on a black sports bra and tight shorts that went to my knees.

Jogging down the stairs I pulled my hair into a high pony tail.

Walking into the kitchen was like walking through a fog of tension, it was so thick not even a knife could cut it. Looking around I saw Abe and Dimitri glaring at each other while Lissa was cuddled into Christian's side and everyone else was standing around awkwardly.

Abe growled quietly and Dimitri immediately responded. I sighed quietly as I walked to the counter.

"Never knew I lived in a house full of dogs," I said dryly.

"What is he doing here Rose?" Abe demanded.

"He came with Lissa, Eddie, Adrian, Alberta and Stan, apparently Liss and Adrian are on some sort of… list." I said giving him a pointed look. He nodded.

"And why is he here?" Dimitri growled. I turned on him then, a burning anger curling in me.

"He has more right to be here than you do," I growled taking one step closer to him.

"And why is that?" He pushed, but when he looked me in the eye he gasped quietly.

"He's my father," I snapped. He stumbled a step back as he looked between us, seeming to take in the similarities between us, I smirked dangerously.

"How the…," He whispered, and his heart beat picked up.

"You got a problem?" I growled.

"Honey, I'm home!" I heard a warm, velvety voice say from the door.

"Pavel!" I cried, my anger diminishing. I heard light foot steps as he ghosted into the room and picked me, circling around. I laughed childishly.

"Nasıl bu kadar oldu Sen uzun?" He said, placing back on the floor before kissing my cheek. (Translation: How are you, it's been too long?)

"Ben iyiyim, ben, o kadar uzun oldu katılıyorum, babam, zalimane, uzakta kardeşim beni tutmak ediliyor!" I exclaimed hugging him. (Translation: I'm good, and I agree, it's been far to long, my father is being cruel, keeping me away from my brother!)

"Hey, ben zalim değilim!" Zmey protested. (Hey, I am not cruel!)

"Yes you are, Zmey," We answered together.

"Oh and Zmey," I said.

"Yes Zmeyette," He teased.

"If you keep on having issues with Dimitri, I'll call mom." I stated. He paled but nodded.

Christian, Pavel, Lissa and I laughed.

Soon, I would have to deal with Dimitri, but right now I'll enjoy myself before I lose myself.


	5. Shadow's Fire and Motorcycles

_**Okay ppls! I'm back but I'm changing it from two years of them being apart, I'm making it 3 and half years cuz there's too much to jam into two years so yea!**_

I was on Pavel's lap, quite comfortably, when Abe turned to face us.

"So, how have you been?" He asked. I sighed.

"I've been good," I smiled and snuggled deeper into my brother's chest.

"Yani cehennem o burada niye bana mahsuru var mı?"

(Translation: Do you mind telling me why the hell he's here?) He asked harshly, looking at Dimitri.

"Baba, burada bu konuşma başlatmak etmeyiniz."

(Translation: Dad, can we not have this conversation here.) I sighed.

"Hayır, hemen şimdi söyle bana gidiyorum!"

(Translation: No, I'm leaving soon so tell me now!) He snapped that mobster glint in his eye.

"Ben beş yaşında olarak bana baba, don't konuşmak değilim böyle!"

(Translation: I'm not five years old father, don't talk to me as such!) I growled out. Pavel stiffened under me and all the conversation around us stopped.

"Pardon? Sen kim konuşuyor düşünüyorsun? arkadaşlarınız veya belki bir size cehennem gibi emin bana bu şekilde konuşarak değil çünkü uyuyorsun bu çocuklardan biri daha!"

(Trans: Excuse me? Who do you think you're talking to? Another one of your friends, or maybe one of those boys that you've slept with because you're sure as hell not talking to me that way!" He growled, I sat up straighter as Lindsey and Mike quietly make an exit.

"Cehenneme seninle konuşuyor gibi eminim! Ve bana bir fahişe çağırıyor bu senin yol nedir!"

(Translation: I'm sure as hell talking to you! And is this your way of calling me a slut?) I growled and Pavel shifted uncomfortably as Abe stood up, I could tell he was pissed off but it wasn't his face that gave it away, no if you look at his face you would think he was calm, no it was the slight tension in his shoulders and the way his index finger twitched ever so slightly.

"Bir sürtük? kan Hayır, hayır gibi neredeyse Rusya oldu ve ne ilk önce, kim ve en kısa sürede o senin vefasız olduğunu düşündüm olarak sizi düştü seni ihmal istediğiniz olmayan bir adam eşek konum için fahişe. Sana sadece onları geri kalanı gibi olmak olurdu devreye girdi olsaydı eğer."

(A slut? No, no more like the blood whore you almost became in Russia, and for what a man who didn't want you at first, who ignored you and as soon as he thought you were unfaithful dropped you on you're ass. If I hadn't stepped in you would have become a just like the rest of them.)

Now that was low, very low, he knew that it wasn't like that.

"Seni annem ne zaman sen hamile olduğu tespit yürüdü kontrol son çünkü O zaman zaten çok sonra sizin için, herhalde! Yani kötü yapar kitabımda bunları geri kalanı gibi. Ve ne diğerlerinin ne anlama geliyor? Olena ve onun kızları kan fahişe değildir!" I growled standing up as well, my posture and face mimicking his.

(Translation: Then I guess it's already too late for you, because last I checked you walked out on my mother when you found she was pregnant! So in my book that makes you as bad as the rest of them. And what do you mean the rest of them? Olena and her daughters are not blood whores!)

"Wait a minute," Dimitri said suddenly standing up from Lissa's side. "I heard my mothers name, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Kapa çeneni ve otur, bu ilgilendirmez sizi!" We snapped at the same time. Christian leaned over and told him what we said and he begrudgingly sat down.

(Translation: Shut up and sit down, this doesn't concern you!)

"O eşek delik gibi bir şey değilim! Ben değil koşmak ve neden sana kendini açıklayan ben? Sen hiçbir şey ama kendi bencilliği bilmiyor ama çocuk hiçbir şeysin. Ve sonra nasıl bu iki sen hile olduğunu düşündüm merak ediyorum! Şu haline bak geçmiş demektir! o kadar flört, kıç çatlak dışarı partileri ve çocuklar, ama hayır, hayır sen sadece kendi ağrı görebiliyordu. Eğer ağrı biliyorum? Hiç birşey bilmiyorsun!" He growled softly, pointing his finger at the four of us.

(Translation: I am nothing like those assholes! I didn't run, and why am I explaining my self to you? You're nothing but a child that knows nothing but her own selfishness. And then you wonder how it is that those two thought you were cheating! Look at you're past! Flirting it up, parties, and boys out the ass crack, but no, no you could only see your own pain. You think you know pain? You know nothing!)

"Ben acı hakkında bir şey biliyor musun? Eğer her şeyi bilmek hiçbir şey hakkında o! Ben ve hayat kaybettim geri ölüler diyarından getirildi, şimdi sonsuza dek onun karanlık başa lanetli yaşıyorum ve her zaman delilik eşiğinde am, üst üste Ben's kendi karanlık mücadele var her zaman devralmaya ve üstüne Ben, böyle genç yaşta çok fazla yaşadığını ve henüz acıyı hakkında, evet doğru bilmiyorum tehdit, Ben acı her şeyi biliyorum, o benim en iyi arkadaşımın" I went from yelling to just above a whisper as pain and anger colored my voice.

(I know nothing about pain? If any thing I know everything about it! I've lost my life and was brought back from the land of the dead, now I'm forever cursed to deal with her darkness and am always on the verge of insanity, on top of that I have to fight against my own darkness that's always threatening to take over and on top of that I've been through so much for such a young age and yet I don't know about pain, yea right, I know everything about pain, it's my best friend.)

There was a tense silence that stretched on as Pavel stayed still half way trying to get up as shock froze him in his place. Christian stood up and took my hand and laid a hand on my other, standing behind me as we stood in the middle of everybody.

I leaned back slightly has Christian rest his other hand on my shoulder in a calming gesture that didn't faze me at this moment.

"Eğer gerçekten ben bir şey bilmiyorum, her şey sonra içinden, her şey sonra ben Zmey anlattım oldum düşünüyorsanız Bunu şimdi ile baş edemez, çünkü seni terk öneririz. And don't let the door hit you on the way out." I stated, shaking my head and walking out of the room.

(Translation: If you really believe that I know nothing, after everything that I've been through, after everything I've told you, Zmey, I suggest you leave, because I can't deal with this right now.)

It wasn't until I heard the front door close that I realized us arguing was stupid, so very stupid, but my pride would never let me apologize and it was his fault anyway. I didn't realize I was in the training room until I felt shadows swirling around dangerously as my hands started to heat up.

I felt like something was breaking inside of me as my blood started to burn and boil in an unfamiliar way so I did the only thing I could, I ran.

I ran from the house and into the woods, after I was away from the house emotions kept building up and finally I snapped.

I destroyed everything around me, punching and kicking and screaming as I attacked everything around me. Boulders cracked and trees split with every hit that I delivered, my strength startled me and I realized what it was, the Strigoi blood, it was taking effect.

"No!" I screamed, I screamed so loud that birds flew from their trees as I fell to my knees, as a lone tear rolled down my cheek. "No," I whispered as my hands covered my face.

I crawled over to a river bed and looked over; staring back at me was my brown eyes flaked with a slowly fading red. I whimpered as a hand came up to my mouth as I fell back.

'This can't be happening.' I thought as I looked around at the clearing I was in. It was destroyed, wood, splinter and rocks were every where, I was panting as I looked around. I felt something in me tug, something I was used to by now, and suddenly the shadows around me swirled and shifted the clearing was engulfed in shadows and when they faded the clearing was back in order.

I felt tired, in all senses of the word, mentally, physical, and emotional. On shaky legs I stood up, angry, confusion, hurt and betrayal, they all ran through me, but I knew these emotions weren't my own; I let my self be sucked into her head.

"Christian, let her go, she'll come back when she's ready!" Lissa all but yelled as Christian tried to go after me.

"No Lissa, you don't understand, I have to go!" He stated calmly, tugging his arm from her grip.

"I should go with you," Dimitri stated going next to Christian. Why is he leaving me for her? Why can't he just leave her alone? She thought.

"No, that'll only make it worse!" Christian stated once again glaring at Dimitri.

"Christian, please just let her come back on her own!" I begged, I slowly felt myself becoming one with her.

"No! Dammit, just let me go to her!" He yelled finally anger showing on his face, anger flared up in side of me, as did jealousy.

"You're acting like you love her!" I yelled. He smirked, and shook his head.

"No, I don't, not in the way you think." He said. He walked through the back door and I followed him.

_Okay Rose, you need to get back to your own body, come on, come on! _ I mentally shouted and I snapped back into my own head. I was still walking and I finally saw the break in the trees and I stumbled through the last barrier of shrubs.

I stumbled through and fell on my hands and knees, I was panting heavily and I tried to pick myself back up. _I won't let this beat me, I refuse to let it win, and I will fight it! _I mentally shouted and I shoved myself back up onto my feet and I stumbled back a little before I took a deep breath to steady myself.

My vision cleared fully and I saw Christian running to me. I stood straighter as a new strength flowed through me, one that was way unfamiliar. I slide into a stance and as he drew closer he realized my stance and slid into a matching one.

I lunged at him and he almost dodged. He stumbled but regained his footing, he threw a punch at me and just grazed my face, my fist slammed into his stomach and he flew back a few feet causing Lissa to scream, as Christian hit the ground.

He smirked as a fire ball flew at me, a sort of dark shield appeared in front of me and it bounced off. In the short time it took me to deflect his attack he was up and running at me, and just like that we were plunged into a deadly dance.

I felt my hands warm up again and this time I let them, a fire erupted from my hand and both Christian and I were mesmerized for a moment before we started again, this time I felt some of the shadows aid Christian as they did me, making it an almost fair fight.

Christian had some how managed to get my arm twisted and behind my back and he delivered a blow to my wrist and I felt and heard the snap. I cried out but then a heat raced up my arm and I felt everything go back in place and heal so I stomped on his foot, most likely break a toe as we continued our fight.

Had it not been for the shadows I'm pretty sure we would have so many broken bones and bruises that it would almost be impossible to tell that we were human. But of course I wasn't going all out on him, had I, he would be dead a long time ago.

"Alright, time to step it up a bit," I stated, making a roundhouse kick to his face as he flew, face first, into the floor. I leapt after him, taking his arm behind his back and placing my knee on his lower back, immobilizing him.

"Ow, that shit hurt," He groaned. I smirked at him and stood up, before helping him up as well.

"Good, it was supposed to," I grinned. Before probing my sides, stomach, legs, and arms. No bruising, no broken bones but there was some dried blood.

"Are you two crazy!" Dimitri suddenly made an appearance, we tilted our head to the side, facing opposite directions, looked at each other before answering.

"Just a bit," We said in unison.

"Christian! Oh my God, are you okay?" Lissa said, running toward us and resting her hands on his face.

"Yes, Liss, I'm fine, actually better the fine, I'm great, I feel good as new!" He said shaking out his shoulders.

I felt the shadows drifted from him and seep into me, I turned and spit out some blood caused from the shadows and rolled my neck.

"Rose, are you okay?" Dimitri asked softly. I looked at him and nodded stiffly before turning to nod at Christian before heading back to the house, I need to shower and change before we started practice.

I walked into the house and walked straight to my room, I pulled out a sleeveless black dress that clung to my curves in a deliciously non sluty way. I pulled on black leggings and some heels. I did my make up quickly and shook out my hair before I walked down stairs.

Mike was sitting on the couch next to Lindsey, both dressed and ready to go.

"Hey Rose, where's your necklace?" Lin asked I touch my neck and thought about it.

"I think I left it in Christian's room, let me check." I said, jogging upstairs. I walked to his room and tapped on the door before walking in without waiting for a reply. Lissa was looking out the window and Christian was walking around in his boxers looking for clothes.

"What are you doing in here?" Lissa all but screeched as I walked in.

"What?" I asked, I looked at Christian before looking back at her. "Oh, him practically being naked, it's nothing I haven't seen before. Anyway, did I leave my necklace in here?" I turned to Christian who had faced me.

"Um, you can check in the box," He said. I walked over to his dresser and pulled out a black box, I found my necklace easily and lifted my hair up as he walked up behind me to put in on.

"Thanks, oh and you should try those pants that stay on your hips and hugs your butt and that black and red shirt you have, the one that I used to steal." I said I started back out the door.

"The blue pants?" He asked, befuddled.

"No, the black ones you wore when that old lady grabbed your ass at the store." I laughed as he flushed slightly and shook his head before walking into his closet.

I left his room and hopped down the stairs easily and joined everyone but Christian and Lissa in the Living Room.

"What songs are we supposed to record today?" I asked leaning against the wall.

"How about Patron Tequila, I know how much you love that song." Lindsey suggested, I smirked deviously before nodding.

"Definitely," I said.

"I say we record Shots, that one is interesting there is no doubting that," Christian stated coming down the stairs, with a slightly irritated Lissa next to him, but he was holding her hand firmly and I smiled at them.

"All in favor say I," I said.

"I," Chris, Mike and Lin said.

"All who oppose say Nay," I stated seriously, a confused silence engulfed those who didn't understand.

"Then Patron Tequila and Shots it is," I smiled.

"What cars are we takin'?" Lin asked.

"Chris, Lissa, Eddie and I can take the Ducati's." I stated.

"You'll ride like that?" Mike asked dubiously. I looked down before sighing.

"Two minutes." I sighed, jogging up stairs once again.

I ran to my room and slipped off the clothes, I place them back on hangers before I took out a pair of skinny leather pants, a tight form fitting shirt, my riding jacket and some knee high heeled boots.

Taking up the bag I went back down stairs, Mike, Adrian and Eddie whistled when I came back down the stairs, I just smiled.

"Ready?" I asked. They nodded as we all headed out to the garage, I walked straight to my baby and I climbed on handed Lissa my helmet, she looked confused. "You'll need it more than me or Eddie, you and Christian are the Moroi after all." I smiled softly and she smiled back, all of her past jealousy forgot as she realized I was still protective over her.

"Thank you," She murmured before hugging me. I let her go to Christian as I waited for Eddie to climb on behind me.

"Eddie, you do what I do, I lean to the left you lean to the left, if I lean forward you follow, You wrap your arms around my waist and don't let go until we hit the highway, it can get bumpy and I don't need you falling off especially with no helmet. If I tell you hold on you hold on, got it?" I asked with a smirk as he grinned back and nodded.

"Fine boss, what ever you say." He stated with a false salute. I nodded and started up the bike.

"Ready," I called.

"Ready," I heard Christian call.

"Ready," Lin yelled.

The garage door opened and I smirked, I felt Eddie wrap his arms around me and I tied my hair into a high bun.

"Let's go!" Mike shouted as we took off. Christian and I were side by side until we got to the path we took with the bikes instead of the main road. We separated and I leaned slightly to my left. Eddie was like my shadow and every move or lean I made he followed. The path was bumpy but it was fun and I took it that Eddie agreed because he was laughing.

I felt absolutely free as we flew through the woods, I was itching to go to second gear but I had to wait for a minute. We flew out of the trees and I saw Lin and Mike in the black and white Ferrari's, but we were in front of them. Chris and Liss popped out beside us as we hit the ground with a thud.

I held up two fingers and looked at Christian who nodded and I shifted to second, our bikes were GP which meant we could shift more easily into different gear shift like those professional racers, we started going faster and Lin and Mike where behind us.

We finally made it to the freeway and Eddie loosened his grip on my waist and I smirked, leaning a little more forward, I felt him move a little and his I could feel him mirroring me. I went to the far left lane while Lin and Mike went in the middle while Christian took up the right.

The wind blowing through my hair and the speed made me feel so free that I threw my hands in the air and laughed.

"I feel so alive!" I yelled, only to hear laughter and gasps. My hands found their way back to the handle bars and I sighed.

We drove at some break neck speeds for about 15 more minutes before we made it to the studio. I took the gears down back downs before I fish tailed around and stopped like you see in those movies, the smoke and everything. Christian parked next in a non exciting way and I laughed climbing off the bike.

"Had fun?" Christian asked Lissa as he helped her off the back of the bike followed with a peck on the lips.

"Yes, that was amazing!" She squealed.

"Enjoy yourself Castile?" I asked turning to look at him he grinned and nodded, trying to fix his hair.

"You are absolutely crazy, but yes it was fun."

Mike pulled up next followed closely by Lindsey. Everyone got out the car, and I half expected to get a lecture on being reckless but nothing came.

"Come on," Christian said, taking Lissa's hand and leading her inside. I rolled my eyes and walked in with Dimitri and Eddie on either side of me.

We walked in and were immediately met by Maria, house music director, she helped us play with our sound and she filmed the videos and helped with all of that stuff.

Christian told her which songs we were doing and she told us what room to go to. We walked in and saw all of the controls and a lounge like place in the back where you could listen.

"Alright, so you guys are going to be staying in here," Mike said as they all, except Dimitri who was staring at me, looked around in awe.

I was the first to leave the room as I walked into the room. I put on my head phones and waited for everyone to join.

"How do I sound?" I asked into the microphone. Christian walked up and talked into the speaker.

"You sound good, Maria and Paul are coming." He said as Mike and Lin left and Maria and Paul walked in. Mike and Lin stood to my right and Christian walked in and stood by my left.

"You two ready, you remember all the words?" Maria asked as they got ready, Lindsey and I nodded.

" Intro [Mike]-  
Let's go!  
Hey!  
What's happenin'?  
What you drinkin' tonight girl?  
Drinkin' tonight with me!  
Put your drinks up! 

[Rose]

Ay Yo

Who wanna get tow up

Go ahead get your drink

Get your hands on a cup

How many rounds till you can't stand up?

Me and my girls bout to tear the club up

-Chorus [Lindsey] (Christian)-  
Hey girl  
Where's your drink?  
We goin' all get real drunk tonight  
Hey girl  
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight (get fucked up tonight)  
By the end of the night  
Imma have you drunk and throwing up (hey! )  
By the end of the night  
Imma have you so fucked up! (have you so fucked up)

-Verse [Rose] (Christian)-  
They said what you drinkin'? (what you drinkin'?)  
Let me buy you a couple of rounds  
And I said what you thinkin'? (yeah! )  
I ain't the type of girl to get down  
But I can party wit cha (uh huh)  
And bring my girls aside (uh huh)  
Tell the bartender bring the ice  
And let 'em know I'm on Patron

-Chorus {Lindsey, with ad libs by [Rose]} (Mike)-  
I'm on Patron, Tequila  
I'm drunk on Margarita [on Margaritas]  
That Patron, Tequila [that Patron]  
Me and my mamacita (yeah! ) [me and my mamacita]  
Hey girl (hey girl)  
Where's your drink?  
We goin' all get real drunk tonight (get real drunk tonight) [real drunk tonight]  
Hey girl  
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight (get fucked up tonight) [yeah]  
By the end of the night  
Imma have you drunk and throwing up (hey! ) [throwing up]  
By the end of the night [oohh]  
Imma have you so fucked up! (so fucked up! )

-Verse [Rose] (Christian)-  
And now the parted heated  
'Cuz I got a hot girl in the club  
I'm feelin' so conceited (yeah! )  
'Cuz everybody is giving me love (uh, uh)  
But hold up, wait a minute (uh huh)  
'Cuz my cup is going empty  
I need someone to refill me  
I'm trynna to get drunk (me too)

-Chorus {Rose, with ad libs by [Lindsey]} (Mike)-  
I'm on Patron, Tequila [yeah, yeah]  
I'm drunk on Margarita  
That Patron, Tequila [yeah, yeah]  
Me and my mamacita  
Hey girl (hey girl)  
Where's your drink?  
We goin' all get real drunk tonight (get real drunk tonight)  
Hey girl  
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight (get fucked up tonight) [yeah]  
By the end of the night  
Imma have you drunk and throwing up (hey! ) [throwing up]  
By the end of the night  
Imma have you so fucked up! (so fucked up! ) 

[Rose]

Ay Yo

Look at them ladies look at them legs

Hips and lips isn't it amaze-in

I'ma have you on a daze

Caramel pink drink it's your phase

Started in the back of the truck

Even before we got here we was getting fucked up

Now we gonna keep it moving till we get stuck

Ain't gon hit the bed til the sun comes up

I'm on Patron

-Bridge {Lindsey, (Mike/Christian)} [Rose]-  
Who wanna get fucked up? [I do, I do]  
Who wanna get fucked up? [I do, I do]  
Who wanna get drunk? (me) [me]  
Who wanna get drunk? (I'm already drunk) [me]  
Who wanna get fucked up? (haha) [I do, I do]  
Who wanna get fucked up?(I ain't stopping them) [I do, I do]  
Who wanna get drunk? [me]  
Who wanna get drunk? (let's have another one)

-Chorus {Rose, (Christian/Mike)} [Lindsey]-  
I'm on Patron, Tequila  
I'm drunk on Margarita  
That Patron, Tequila [yeah, yeah]  
Me and my mamacita (put your drinks up! )  
Hey girl (hey girl)  
Where's your drink?  
We goin' all get real drunk tonight  
Hey girl  
I got bud we can all get fucked up tonight  
By the end of the night [repeating Aria]  
Imma have you drunk and throwing up [repeating Aria]  
By the end of the night [repeating Aria]  
Imma have you so fucked up! [Imma have you so fucked up! ]

-[Mike]-  
Put your drinks up!  
Put your drinks up!  
Put your drinks up!  
Put your drinks up!

-[Rose]-  
I'm on Patron, Tequila  
I'm drunk on Margarita  
That Patron, Tequila  
Me and my mamacita "

(Patron Tequila Paradise Girls feat Lil' Jon)

We were singing and dancing simultaneously, smiling as we sang. We took a few different takes and it was getting really hot so I slipped my jacket off in the middle of the song and continued to dance before I walked into the control room to grab some water bottles.

I open on and started to drink as I walked back into the recording room and handed out the bottles. We relaxed for a minute before Mike and Christian had to start their song.

"Ready?" Paul asked and they nodded.

"(Christian)  
If you're not drunk ladies and gentleman  
Get ready to get fucked up  
Lets do it  
Haha  
LMFAO  
You know it  
Lil C

Yeaah  
All of the alcoholics  
Where you at  
Lets go  
Hey hey hey hey uh huh hey hey hey hey  
Lets go yeah!  
(Mike)  
When i walk in the club  
All eyes on me  
I'm with the party rock crew  
All drinks are free (all drinks are free)  
We like Ciroc  
We love Patron  
We came to party rock  
Everybody its on!

Shots shots shots shots shots  
Shots shots shots shots shots  
Shots shots shots shots shots shots  
Everybody  
Shots shots shots shots shots  
Shots shots shots shots shots  
Shots shots shots shots shots shots  
Everybody

(yeah)  
Let me see you do it

The ladies love us  
When we bring shots  
They need an excuse  
To suck our cocks (suck my cock)  
We came to get krunk  
How bout' you  
Bottoms up  
Let's go round two!

Shots shots shots shots shots  
Shots shots shots shots shots  
Shots shots shots shots shots shots  
Everybody  
Shots shots shots shots shots  
Shots shots shots shots shots  
Shots shots shots shots shots shots  
Everybody

(Christian)

If you aint gettin' drunk get the fuck out the club  
If you aint takin' shots get the fuck out the club  
If you aint come to party get the fuck out the club  
Now where my alcoholics let me see your hands up  
(what you drinking on)  
Yeah  
Jager-Bombs  
Lemon Drops  
Buttery Nipples  
Jello Shots  
Kamakazis  
Three Wise Men  
Fuck all that shit  
Give me some gin!

(Mike)

Shots!  
Patrons on the rocks  
And I'm ready for some shots  
The women come around  
Every time I'm pouring shots  
Their panties hit the ground every time i give 'em shots  
So cups in the air everybody lets take shots

If you're feeling drunk put your hands in the air  
And if you're trying to fuck get your hands in the air  
Now say I'm fucked up  
(I'm fucked up)  
I'm fucked up  
(I'm fucked up)  
I'm trying to fuck  
(I'm trying to fuck)  
I'm tryin' to fuck  
(I'm tryin' to fuck)

Shots!  
Patrons on the rocks  
And I'm ready for some shots  
The women come around  
Every time I'm pouring shots  
There panties hit the ground every time i give 'em shots  
So cups in the air everybody lets take shots

-I'm fucked upp-

Lets go!

(La dad a da  
La dad a dad a da) - (8x)"

We again ended up smiling, and dancing while they rapped and we were in the back ground. Lindsey and I stumbled out, laughing our asses off as Christian had done this jumping "what" like thing.

"Rose? Can I speak with you privately?" Dimitri asked, making his presence known.

A sense of dread seeped into me as I nodded wearily and followed him down the hall.


	6. HEY BABY!

HEY GUYS! I am soo soo sorry about this long awaited update. No, this is not me giving up my story for adoption… no this is not me making excuses for not updating. I was reading through the story and there's some kinks that are pissing me off and from where the story is, I can't take it to the heights I know it can reach. So this is me asking you for a week tops to start rewriting and posting the story. I'll probably change the title but that's not certain yet. I love you guys and you have been so supportive and thank you guys who have reviewed and given me suggestions *WWRock21* for the music suggestion which will be used soon. So… yea, don't kill me, cuz this is for the best and if you kill me then I can't update -_-.

Thank you for having so much patience for me!

Sarcastically Yours,

Sephora


	7. The Secret and Reservations

_**Okay, hello everyone! So this is the new first chapter! In this story Tasha didn't kill the Queen, someone else did. Also I'm going to explain a different scenario of the car accident and it's a little depressing but it'll tie in later, it's a bit long but over the course of the story you all will understand. Also there is a bit of Andre/Rose but in the past again it will be explained. I'm not updating until I get at least 10 to 20 reviews. I hope you guys like this redo that I'm working on, if you don't like it, let me know. So I love you guys, thank you for being so patient so let me quit rambling and get on with the chapter! ENJOY!**_

It's been a little over a year since we moved to court. In that year, a lot has happened. I got Dimitri back, Lissa became queen, I started training Christian in self defense and Eddie was currently guarding a gorgeous Moroi who he is also dating.

Dimitri and I moved in together a few weeks after everything happened with me being accused of killing the queen and me finding out it was one of the people who followed Tasha's protests who killed her and framed me. In the time it took me to find the real killer Lissa became the queen and was almost shot, the bullet which in fact hit me instead, but Lissa managed to get to me and heal me enough that she brought me back again.

Adrian sobered up after we broke up, went back to college where he is currently staying.

Christian approached me after I was healed from the gun shot and asked if I could train him so he wouldn't be so useless in a situation where he had to defend himself or others. I, after some consideration, agreed and that is what we do to this day, twice a day we train. In that training we have gotten beyond close, he was the brother I never had and as he has said I'm the sister he wished he had growing up.

In the time we've gotten closer he confided in me that he was going to propose to Lissa one night while we were having a group movie. I had had to go on a food run and he offered to help me and while we were walking he spilled the beans. Since then he's been planning how to propose for the last 2 weeks and me being ever so faithful helped along with his planning.

There was two problems though, one being Dimitri doesn't know about him wanting to propose and number two being I've felt Lissa getting suspicious and from the way Dimitri has been acting I can tell he is too.

Now, to present day, my day off, I'm working, which completely sucks. But apparently Christian is an epic fail at going ring shopping so he asked for my help so my one day off, I'm helping Pyro out to get the engagement ring for Lissa.

I was standing in front of one of the many cases of engagement rings scanning through trying to find the perfect ring when Chris pointed one out.

"No, she's into the simple elegance, that's too much." I said with a quick shake of my head. He huffed and continued to look. After a minute or two I saw it, it was perfect. A gold band with three diamonds, one in the center and two smaller ones on each side, it was beyond gorgeous and screamed Lissa.

"Oh my god!" I squealed out loud unintentionally, drawing some attention to me. "I found it." I said looking up to see Christian on the other side of the cases. He rushed over to my side and I showed him the ring. A wide grin spread over his face as he nodded.

"That's it, that's the ring."He whispered before ushering the sales woman over. I picked up the coffee I demanded we stop to get so I could drive and started to drink it.

"This is a beautiful choice, you are one lucky lady." The woman said as she took out the ring to show to Christian.

I choked on the coffee I was just swallowing and some came out of my nose. I started coughing and Christina smacked my back a couple of times.

"What? Why am I lucky?" I asked incredulously and half in shock after I finished coughing.

"Well, the ring is for you isn't it?" She asked, looking genuinely confused. Christian and I just started laughing as I shook my head.

"No, it isn't, he's one of my best friends and he finally got the guts to propose to my other best friend and it's about damn time." I said as I laughed. The woman blushed and rushed to finish the check out.

As we were walking out of the store I saw an Olive Garden across the street just as my stomach let out a loud growl.

"Hmm, I guess its about time to feed the guardian." Christian joked putting an arm around my shoulders. We crossed the street to the restaurant and were seated immediately. After some playful bantering over what to eat we ordered.

"She is going to be so happy!" I said, a huge smile on my face.

"I hope so," He muttered as he ate his pasta.

"Look, I didn't get to do this while we were at the academy, and seeing as Lissa's Dad and brother are gone, this is left up to me. Mind you, it's nothing personal , more a duty to my little sister. You ever hurt her, in any way shape or form and I swear to what ever the fuck you believe in that I will take the shot gun you know I have at my apartment and shove it up your ass and shoot, then I'll castrate you with a rusty dull knife, then I'll tie you up like a punching back and I'll beat you within an inch of your life and maybe, possibly let you live with the thought that I could be around the corner waiting to finish the job. DO you understand boy?" I stated in a seriously threatening voice that had him cowering in his seat and looking like a sheet of paper with sweat on his forehead.

"Y…..Y….Ye…..,"He stuttered before nodding. I smirked and continued to eat happily as the color slowly returned to his face. After that we finished up our food and got out of there. As I drove us back to court Christian looked like he wanted to say something so I turned down the music and glanced at him.

"What's the matter, you look like your about to claw your hair out." I said, watching the road.

"Well, you see…," He started off before getting lost in his thoughts again. "What happened the night of the accident with Lissa's parents?" He asked suddenly.

"Didn't she tell you?" I asked curiously, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah, but she was vague she told me to just ask you, but I never really thought to ask til today. I just want to know what it is that I'm getting into, not that it matters but I just want to know." He stated, I sighed softly.

"You want to know why I'm so protective of Lissa." I state easily knowing for a fact that's what he really wanted. He nodded sheepishly and I just closed my eyes for a moment.

"What I'm about to tell you is the complete and absolute truth, and what I say in this car right now, will forever stay between us, not even Lissa can know. Do you understand Christian?" I said, pulling off to the side of the road so I could look him in the eye. He looked hesitant before he nodded.

"Lissa won't know what ever it is you have to say." He states, looking me in the eye and I see the confidence and slight fear in his eye. I take a deep breath before I begin.

"There's a lot about the accident that people don't really know, not even Lissa. In reality it wasn't actually an accident, it was a planned accident. Lissa was supposed to be sitting where I had sat, by the window. You see, the reason Mia was going after Lissa wasn't just because Andre left her, she was trying to get revenge on me via Lissa because Andre left her for me, well more like she had a hunch it was me but wasn't sure." I said quietly. A quick glance at Christian showed shock and a sick realization.

"That's why she went after you like that." He said. I nodded.

"I loved him, truly I did, I loved him in a way I could never love anyone else, he was my first love. He was there for me and he loved me. I knew about Mia, I knew about what really happened with the Royal's backstabbing games, and I know how much it really affected him, but he made me promise not to tell Lissa. If the news of us got out… it would have been bad. The precious Dragomir going out with the rebel Hathaway, no way in hell would that have been accepted." I sneered looking into the forestry behind Christian's head.

I let that sink in for a minute before I continued.

"The day we were going to the mall, it was homecoming and Lissa and I wanted to get a dress for the occasion. Rhea and Lissa went to go look at some dresses and Eric made an excuse, for Lissa's sake, to have Andre and I alone, he let us know that they knew about us and that they appreciated us keeping it to ourselves and to try not to let Lissa get caught up in it, see as I was the one who was shielding her from what the Royals were capable of, I knew that our relationship could damage their social standing and if Lissa knew, she wouldn't care, she would encourage it. Unbeknownst to us, we were being followed, it wasn't until we were leaving that I noticed. After the talk we got the dresses, they were beautiful. Andre and I decided we were going to walk around on our own and we got into this stupid, stupid argument over the dress I got. Something about it being to revealing for a girl in a relationship, I got mad and said that people didn't even know we were together. By the time we left the mall we could barely be near each other… he was so stubborn and I was too stupid to just apologize first. I told Lissa to sit in the middle, told her that I wanted to sit by the window. Someone had been following us… and it was dark and I know it was planned because the same exact car came from the opposite direction and hit us head on, the car that was following us hit us from behind." I said, my voice shaking as I closed my eyes images flooding my mind.

"Lissa was knocked out from the initial collision and the force from the second car sent us spinning and flipping. The car flipped 3 times, by that time Eric and Rhea were dead. Andre had taken my hand and he held it so tight but when the car went to flip again we hit a pole and it pierced straight down the middle, toward Liss, I don't know how, but I dove in front of her and it pierced me, right here." I gestured to the spot between ribs, remembering the pain.

"I don't think I can ever describe the pain I felt but it wasn't over. The car had twisted around the pole. After that I blanked out, but I know Lissa somehow got out and the lack of her body made me fall off the pole and it woke me up. She was screaming so loud… she was in shock. She was yelling at Andre to wake up, he had passed out too, and he had mumbled something and she leaned over to me and I couldn't for the life of me answer, it was so dark and warm and I was falling asleep when I felt it. The warmth and happiness and suddenly the pain was gone and felt like I was being dragged. Somewhere one of the car caught on fire and I remember the heat and Lissa passed out again and she fell to the ground."

Christian looked horrified at my words and my vision blurred.

"Andre was still alive, and I had managed to turn around seeing as Liss half dragged me out the car, he got a hold of my hand and he was struggling to breath…," I stopped to catch my breath. "And he looked at me, with those eyes, those jade eyes that I had loved so much and he held my hand so tight in his own. His last words to me were 'I love you so much and I'm so sorry, but please, please protect Lissa don't let her get into the world we lived in.' and just like that he was gone, forever. I cried, oh how I cried but I had to protect Lissa so I got out and picked her up and took her away from the fire just as the sirens came into my hearing. When they got there I was holding her close and singing, they took us to the hospital and checked us out, we were fine, just a few scrathes. When Lissa woke up I told her that the cops said it was a drunk driver and everyone died instantly, but I knew better. I felt her emotions through it all and I took all of the gossip and protected her, but even now, when I look into her eyes… there's times that all I see is Andre and my promise."

"I never would have guessed…" He said quietly.

"No one would, now you see why I will protect her to my last breath, and I swear to god Christian if she finds out I will kill you, you understand? You're going to help me protect her, no matter the cost, she's my world and if it weren't for her I wouldn't be here." I state.

"I understand Rose. I'll help you protect her, always." He vowed, I nodded and merge back onto the road.

"I do love him you know." I state softly.

"Who?" He asked.

"Dimitri, I could tell by your face, but yes, I love Dimitri more than life itself he's my soul mate, always will be. Andre and I would have made it for the long haul if it weren't for the secrets and the lies and the games, but if I had met Dimitri in that time, I would have fallen for him just as easily as I did now." I said. My eyes trained on the road.

"Thank you for telling me this, it makes more sense as to why you are the way you are with Lissa. It lets me know exactly what I'm getting myself into." We both start laughing.

"Don't worry I'm the one with all the secrets, not Lissa." I say, still chuckling. I opened up the bond to see how Lissa was doing only to see she was wandering court, not able to sleep. My foot eased a little more onto the gas pedal and within 20 minutes we were back at court.

I parked the car and got out, making sure to go sign back in and taking the ring from Christian so I could hide it. As I walked Christian to his room I felt Lissa before I saw her. She saw us and she was shocked.

"Rose? Christian? What's up?" She called, I smiled and waved.

"Hey Lissa, what are you doing up?" I asked. She smiled sheepishly before I felt the suspicion through the bond.

"Couldn't sleep, what about you two, what are you doing up?" She said with fake innocence.

"I couldn't sleep so I decided to take a walk." Christian said with a seemingly careless shrug.

"I have patrol and I saw Christian so I was just walking him back to his building before I go check in with Hans," I said. She nodded but I still felt the tired suspicion. "Do you want me to walk you back to your room?" I asked her, she shook her head and gestured to the guardian a few paces a way. We made eye contact and gave a slow nod.

I nodded before I hugged her and told her to get some sleep before I told Christian in a very Rose like fashion to get his ass back to his room before I went and told Hans I was back. I made my way back to the apartment taking in all the sunshine I could before I was back on the nocturnal schedule.

Opening up the door I set my keys to the side and closed the door quietly, I tip toed my way to the bed room and changed my clothes before I crawled into bed. I looked at Dimitri's soft peaceful face and my heart skipped a beat. I pressed my lips to his for a moment before I pulled away and brushed the hair from his face.

"I love you," I whisper before I lean back on my side of the bed and go to sleep.

I dream, and for the first time in almost three years I dream of Andre.

-DREAM-

I was back at the academy and I was 15 again and it was bright outside. I was in the old abandoned lobby in one of the dorms, Andre was in front of me, his eyes alight with fire.

"Why do you insist on flirting with those guys!" He was beyond pissed and I realized this was more of a memory than anything.

"Why do you insist on acting like a player with all those girls!" I spat back.

"Why do you always answer a question with a question? You know I hate that, and what the hell was with that stunt you pulled yesterday in front of Lissa?" He asked, his hands in his hair.

"I had to keep up pretenses, she's getting suspicious! It would have been odd for me not to respond to that guy! She was beyond confused when you all but went jealous crazy on the guy, if she puts this together it'll be because of you, not me!" I stated back harshly.

"You were all over him though, that was beyond un called for! And you could have done it while I wasn't there." He said as he plopped down on the couch.

"You're the one who insists we keep this from her. I understand why, I really do and you know I agree but you know she isn't going to see it like this. I love you, I do Andre, but we have to keep a secret or else the Royals will chew us up and spit us out and there is no way she could handle that! Screw everybody else, we're keeping it a secret to protect the family." I say gently as I kneel in front of him.

"I know Rose, I really do, but sometimes it hard, it kills me not be able to hold you or kiss you in public. I hate this secrecy! I hate that we have to keep secrets because of those backstabbing bastards." He growled, his hands balling into fists. I set my hand on top of his in understanding.

"I understand, but we have to play their game so Lissa doesn't have to. That's what we have to focus on. Lissa doesn't know what it's like, she's so innocent and naive, I won't let them corrupt her." I say fiercely. Andre links our fingers together and his other hand is on my cheek which I lean into.

"We'll do this, for Lissa." He whispers, I nod. "I love you, so much," He says before he kisses me. I kiss him back, enjoying the warmth of him on me.

"I love you too."

The dream quickly changed and I was back in my apartment but Andre was standing across from me, holding a picture of Dimitri and me.

"Andre," I whispered brokenly, he looked up at me and I launched myself into his arms. He held me close for a moment.

"Rose," His voice is so soft that I look up into those jade eyes that once used to make everything so much better.

"I've missed you." I say, touching his face gently, rememorizing his face, he seems to be doing the same.

"I've missed you too, look at how much you've grown." He says. I catch his eyes wandering the apartment, stopping at the pictures of Dimitri and I. "Rose, does he make you happy?" He asks.

"Yes, he does, he makes undoubtedly happy. He's my souls mate." I say simple, he nods.

"Then I'm happy for you. I'm glad you found happiness in our messed up world. And thank you."

"For what?"

"For protecting my sister as if she were your own and thank you for loving her the way we loved her and thank you for keeping her away from those bastard Royals."

"Thanks isn't needed, it never was." I say leaning into him as he hugs me tighter.

"I have to go." He murmurs into my ear. Tears well in my eyes as I nod.

"Okay, I love you, no matter what, you'll always be in my heart, Draco." I whisper my old nickname for him like its old times.

"I love you too, Rosebud, always and forever will you be in my heart." He places a soft chaste kiss on my lips and suddenly he's gone.

-End of Dream-

I woke up to an empty apartment and a feeling of peace and closure over come me. I laid in bed for a minute before I got up to go shower and get dressed for the day. In the mirror I added my new red lipstick to my lips, pondering if I really like the color before I sighed and continued on with my morning.

I went to Lissa's room and exchanged pleasantries with the guard before we fell into a silence. I heard some murmuring from the inside so I checked the bond and saw she was talking to someone, that someone being Dimitri.

With no real warning I was sucked into her head.

"She got home late last night, and after she fell asleep she kept mumbling in her sleep. Stuff like "She's getting suspicious" 'you insisted' 'keep this from them' something about being innocent and a bunch of incoherent things."

A bunch of ideas were racing through her mind, none of them good.

"You don't think she's having an affair do you?" She asked quietly shocked at her revelation. Dimitri looked shocked before shaking his head.

"No, that's not possible."

"But you agreed with me when I said that Rose and Christian are acting odd lately, jumpy and nervous." Lissa persisted. Dimitri looked in denial and continued to shake his head.

"She wouldn't do that to me, I love her and she loves me, she wouldn't cheat." With that he stood up and walked to the door. I immediately pulled out of her head just in time for Dimitri to walk out and see me. He looked at me for a minute before his eyes went down, I set my hand on his arm.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked knowing what's wrong.

"Nothing Roza, nothing at all," He said before he leaned down to peck me quickly before he walked away.

Lissa stayed in her room most day so by the time my shift was over I saw her once and even then she didn't speak to me, just kept walking.

I walked away when the next guardian came to take over and I made my way outside. The reality of the fact that Dimitri probably thought I was cheating finally sunk in when I made it to a park bench and I was sitting down. Did he really have so little faith in me? Two ropey arms wrapped around my shoulders and I turned my head only to see Christian.

"What's the matter Rosie?" He asked.

"Dimitri thinks I'm cheating on him, well I think he does." I say.

"Why does he think that? 

"I had a dream about Andre last night, it was about one of our arguments, apparently I was mumbling in my sleep and the stuff I said sounds pretty bad and he went to lissa and now he thinks I'm cheating." I say quietly. He nods and we sit there in silence for a while.

"I made the reservation." He says after a moment. I start to smile.

"That's great! For when?" I ask.

"Tonight, I can't wait," He all but squeals causing me to laugh, I shake my head and stand up.

"Alright little girl, let me go tell Dimitri the plan then," I say before I walk back towards my apartment.

When I walked in the apartment was still empty so I went to go to the bedroom when I remember I didn't get the time or the place so I called up Christian.

"Didn't I just see you?" He asks instead of any greeting.

"Ha ha, you know you missed me, anyway, you didn't tell me what time the reservation was for." I said.

"7:30." I write it down.

"That early, huh, anyway and what is the name of this place?" I chuckled, he really is excited.

"La Bella Italia," He says.

"Alright, see you then." I hang up.

I go back to the bedroom to see Dimitri sitting on the bed, I don't say anything I walk to the closet.

"Christian made a dinner reservation for Lissa, you, me and himself. Said he had something to announce, do you want to go?" I asked as I peek at him while I take off my shirt. He looks up at me and I see the suspicion there in his eyes.

"Yea sure, sounds fun, at what time?" He asks.

"7:30, we don't have much time to get ready." AS I speak I walk up to him a straddle his lap. "Dimitri, what's the matter, talk to me." He shakes his head.

"There's nothing wrong." I sigh and kiss him. I don't push for much I just need to feel him to know that he still loves me.

"I love you Dimitri," I whisper as I look in his chocolate brown eyes, the eyes that I love more than anything.

"I love you too Roza," He whispers back, I nod and get off of him and pull out two dresses a red one and a black one.

"Which one should I wear, I feel like wearing a dress, he said it was some fancy restaurant anyway so why not?" He chuckles and pointed to the red one as he stands up and walks to me and wraps his arms around me, kissing me, this time with a lot more passion. I quickly and eagerly respond loving the feel of his hands on my skin. He pulls away first and I smile up at him.

"Hm, if you like the dress that much, I might have to bring it out more often," I say with a wink as I head to the bathroom. I put the dress on, did my make up simple with the new lipstick before I did my hair up. When I walked back out not even 15 minutes later Dimitri was now in a pair of slacks and a button down. I got over to his and smile as I run my hands down his chest.

"Well hello sexy." I say, he smirks at me.

"Hello gorgeous, I love the new color," He says, his thumb tracing just under my bottom lip.

"You do huh, I think I like it too." I whispered huskily.

"I love you," He murmurs is lips brushing mine with each word.

"I love you too comrade." I say before kissing him lightly and going to get my bag and the ring.

"We should go or we're going to be late." I hear Dimitri say while I'm digging through my drawer to find the ring. I find it a moment later.

"Alright, let's go," I say after I put the velvet box in my bag. We walk to Lissa's apartment in silence until I felt a ton of anger and betrayal comes through the bond. Without any thought I took off running, leaving a stunned Russian god in my wake. In less than a minute I pushed my way through Lissa's door to see and hear her screaming at Christian.

"How could you do this Christian? Who is she?" was all I heard.

"What's going on here?" I all but demanded as I walked into the room more.

"He's fucking cheating on me!" Lissa screamed picking up a vase and throwing it at Christian's head which he expertly ducked.

"I'm not cheating on you! I never have and I never will!" HE yelled back.

"Then why is there lipstick on your collar!" She retorted. I snapped my gaze to Christian.

"There's what?" I said, deathly calm, he paled. When he took a step back I made my way to stand in front of Lissa. "Lissa, you need to…" before I could finish her eyes snapped down to my lips and a gasp made her way from her mouth as she stumbled away from me. "Lissa, what's the matter?" As soon as the words left my mouth I felt a sharp sting on my right cheek, surprised shock filled me.

Tears welled in her eyes and fell in a steady stream.

"Never would I have thought you would hurt me like this." She whispered as she cradled her hand.

"What the hell is going on here?" Dimitri's voice broke into the tension of the room.

"I knew it, I told you they were acting weird Dimitri!" She cried. "Rose's lipstick is on Christian's shirt collar." She stated with an angry voice.

Dimitri froze and his mask came up immediately. I shook my head as he turned to walk out and I went to go after him when I heard Lissa's voice cold and un forgiving behind me.

"Rosemarie, I no longer want nor need your services as my guardian, leave court with your new charge or should I say _lover _and don't come back, be gone before dawn."

I nodded before I ran out of there and followed where I thought Dimitri went. Within 5 minutes I found him outside the church.

"Dimitri," I whispered. He turned around and he looked torn between depressed and livid.

"I tried denying it, I kept saying that it wasn't like you to cheat. But when you started getting secretive and spending more time with Christian, and then last night with you what you kept mumbling and you on the phone earlier, it all clicks and I kept denying it because I loved you."He whispered and the fact that he said "loved" cut me. Wasn't he not even 30 minutes ago saying he loves me.

"Dimitri, you know I never would…," I started but the look of fury in his eye stopped me.

"No, I don't know Rose, you know I probably should have expected this, but no, I never would have thought you would sink so low, there's nothing you can say that could possibly make this okay. Maybe you should just leave, all we do is bring each other down, this isn't worth it." He said, shaking his head and walking away. Tears pooled in my eyes as I ran back to the apartment. I pulled out a duffle and tossed in most of my clothes, I packed a few of the pictures we had of us together, the pictures of Lissa and I, a few little trinkets.

After I finished packing I sat down and tried to write Dimitri a letter.

_Dear Dimitri,_

_I'm sorry, but there's so much you don't understand._

I crumbled that up and threw it away and tried again.

_Comrade_,

I_ can't believe this is the way it's ending, and I know there's so much I should have told you…_

That one got thrown out too.

_My sweet comrade, _

I_ love you, I really do, and I'm sorry, so very sorry. All of this should not have happened. I know it seems bad but it's not like it seems, it really isn't. I need you to protect Vasilissa,_

The tears finally fell, each one that hit the paper smudged a few words before I crumpled the paper and threw it into the bin.

I picked up my duffel bag and put it over my shoulder and went to the back of the closet and picked up a metal locked box and held it to my chest before I placed it into my bag. I looked around the apartment and smiled a sad smile as the tears continue to fall. Shaking my head I walked out, and dropped my keys off at the front desk.

I felt absolutely nothing. Just a sick numbness that settled to my core, suddenly I felt a heavy hit on my side and I stumbled into a wall. I turned to see Christian standing there, panting and his eyes an electric blue.

"I hate you," He growls, tears in his eyes. I turn and look at him, no emotion on my face.

"Good, cause I hate you too," I say. The bond tugged on me and all I felt was the darkness, without any thought I take it all into myself, every last drop the depression the rage all of it I took away from her. I looked back him, everything in my eyes. "Now if you lay a finger on me again Ozera and I can't guarantee your safety."

Tears fell from his eyes and he blindly charged at me, I dodged him and swung around, my hand at his throat lifting him up and off the ground and squeezed. He choked and scratched at my hand.

"I should just kill you." I say in a voice that's not mine. "I should just snap your neck and leave the body, at least I'll the death penalty. You stupid dick, if you had just let me tell Dimitri at least, none of this would have happened." I squeezed a little more and he continued to choke as tears fell from his eyes. "But then again, as ordered by the queen you're my charge." I dropped him and he fell to the floor, coughing and trying to breath.

"Why don't you just kill me?" He gasped after a minute.

"Because making you live is a better punishment, you get to live with your soul mate hating you," I said emotionlessly before I forced him to get up. "Now let's go." I go over to where I see his dropped back and lift it up and start walking toward my car. I hear Christian's soft foot steps behind me as I toss everything in the trunk.

He got into the drivers seat and I leaned against the trunk and pulled out my phone to call Eddie.

"Hello?" He answered after the third ring.

"Eddie, I need you to do me a huge favor." I said, getting to the point.

"Um, sure, what's up." He sound confused.

"I need you to convince you're girlfriend to come to court I need you to look after Vasilisa for me."

"Wait, what, what is going on over there?" He asked.

"She and Dimitri are accusing Christian I of cheating…" I my voice broke a little. "long story short there are listening and I need you do this for me, please Eddie." I begged quietly. I heard him sigh and I could imagine his hand on his forehead as he paced.

"Yeah, I'll be there soon, will you be at Court?" He said, make relief bubble in my chest.

"No, I'm packing up my car now and then Christian and I are leaving, where to, I have no idea." I mutter.

"Okay, be safe, I'll call you soon alright, keep in contact." He says.

"I promise, thank you so much for this, talk to you soon." I sigh before I hang up.

I climb into the passenger side seat and hand him the keys.

"Rose, I'm sorry." Christian says after we sit in silence for a minute, I look at him and try to smile.

"I know you are, I'm sorry too, about what happened out there. Are you okay to drive I have to talk to Adrian." He nods and starts the car. After we leave the gates I lean back into my seat and close my eyes and try to picture Adrian in my head and using some of the darkness I find his golden aura. I pull him into a dream (this being from being around Adrian and Lissa's old spirit lessons but instead of using spirit I'm using it's darkness).

I think about a place to meet, the patio in the ski lodge appears, I'm in jeans and a tank top and Adrian appears in front of me in basically the same thing. He looks around, obviously beyond confused.

"What the hell is this?" He demands looking around.

"Partly karma, and partly I need to talk to you." I say pull his attention to me. He looks at me in shock as I smirk.

"How the hell is this possible?" He demands.

"I'm using darkness instead of spirit to fuel this, it's complicated." I shrug.

"Look, let me go back to sleep, I have a test tomorrow," He complains, I laugh.

"You are asleep, hm, karma is a bitch, isn't she." I say trying act like nothing was wrong but then the tears came and I dropped to my knees. I look up at Adrian and he once again looks in shock taking in my fallen form. "Adrian, you have to know I am so so sorry about everything that happened." I say through my tears. "I never wanted to hurt you and I should have broken things off with before anything but…"

I was silenced by arms wrapping around me.

"Thank you," He whispers. "Thank you for cheating on me, it's okay, I forgive you, I did a while ago." He smiles, I try to smile back but my head drops back down.

"Thank you." I mumur, sniffing. "But that wasn't the only reason I brought you here, I need a favor."

He raises his eyebrow and nods for me to go on.

"I need you to keep Lissa out of the Royal's, how should I put this, bullshit. Please after you graduate, go back to court and keep her away from those Royal bastards, there's so much about that world she doesn't know Adrian and I'm not going to be there to keep her away from it. Please, could you do this for me." I say so he hears me.

"What do you mean you're not going to be there? What happened?" He asks, hands on my shoulders.

"Long story short, she and Dimitri accused Christian and I of cheating, which isn't true, it was a fucked up twist of coincidences but point being we were told to leave. I called Eddie, he's going to court to protect her and I'm here with you to ask this of you. I made an vow a few years back and I intend on keeping that vow, but I need your help. Please." I whisper, looking him in the eye. He looks at me for a moment before he nods.

"Okay, I'll do it." He says, I hug him tight and hold onto him for a moment longer before I pull away.

"Thank you so much, now I have to go, Christian's driving, I'll call you soon." I say as I stand up and he stands with me. "Good luck on your test." With that I ended the dream and wake up in the car with Christian speeding, his knuckles white over the steering wheel.

It's bright outside and the clock says I've been out for a few hours. I shake it off and look out the window to see a wall of green.

"Christian, slow down." I say, sitting straighter, my nails digging into the seat. "Christian pull over." There's no response. "CHRISTIAN PULL OVER!" I yell. He looks over at me with dead eyes.

"Why, there's nothing left to live for, what's the point." His voice is completely dead.

"Christian pull the fucking car over!" I scream, the car slows and he pulls over to the side, once the car stops I fly out of the passenger side seat and got over to the drivers side and open the door and yank him out, I hold him by his shirt as I slam him into the car. "What the fuck is your problem? You aren't the only one hurting!" I shout in his face. He doesn't even flinch.

"Doesn't seem like it." He muttered under his breath. I slam him into the car again, a wince on his face.

"DO you realize that I've lost not only just my soul mate but my bond mate and sister as well?" I yell. "At least you can pretend that this never happened, ever, me on the other hand will forever have another person's emotions and thoughts inside of me okay. My soul isn't my own to control, they have it and own it, it was never mine, the pain I feel can never be explain. So go on, pretend you're the only one hurting, but I'M RIGHT HERE! I'M HERE TO HELP YOU! Get your head out of your ass and realize you can't turn me away because you're my charge and I have to deal with your ass until I'm dead and six feet under, you understand. Now get in the god damn car." I slam him into door one more time before I toss him into the direction of the hood so he will go to the passanger side.

I let out an angry breath as I open my walls and I start to see the ghosts. The first and only one I want to see stands right in front of me.

"Am I doing the right thing Andre?" I whisper, he nods. "Do you hate me for this?" He shakes his head. "Will Eddie and Adrian's help be enough to help her get through this?" He shrugs. "Andre." His head tilts. "Have I broken my promise?" he shakes his head and smiles. "Thank you." I bring my walls back up and get into the drivers seat and take off.

Our destination isn't clear. But we will make it, because we're both fighters. I know that one day we'll meet them again and when that day comes, all the truths will come out. I just hope I can continue to keep our sanity intake til that day comes. My heart seemed none existent and its beats seemed to have stopped and all I could feel numbness as auto pilot takes over and all I could do was drive.

The people who time heals all wounds and it's better to have loved and lost than to never love at all needs to get punched in the nose.


End file.
